


Late Arrivals

by flyingsilverspork



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Eventual Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Gay Sirius Black, Hogwarts, M/M, Marauders' Era, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2018-10-22 15:24:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 37,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10699785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingsilverspork/pseuds/flyingsilverspork
Summary: In an AU where Remus Lupin's parents decided to home school Remus.It is 1976, the OWL exams are approaching and a 16 year old Remus Lupin must spend three weeks at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry so that he may sit his exams. During this time Remus makes new friends, in particular, one Sirius Black, who shows Remus what real friendship means - and perhaps more.





	1. Cub in the Wild

Hogsmeade was a very quiet village, Remus Lupin thought to himself as he dragged his trunk down the main street. The long and winding road was all but empty, aside from himself and a tabby cat, which seemed to be walking towards him. Almost out of instinct, Remus knelt on the cobbled street and beckoned the cat towards him. He wasn’t honestly much of a cat person, preferring dogs as they tended to seem more sociable, but Remus did have a soft spot for all animals, they were always good company and always seemed to listen to whatever he felt like rambling on about that particular day.

‘Here, kitty,’ Remus smiled and stretched out a hand in a friendly manner. He instantly regretted his actions as, on the spot the cat once stood, now stood a tall and thin woman in luscious emerald-green robes.

‘Mr Lupin, I take it?’ The woman’s thick scottish accent broke the dense silence which enveloped the village. Remus had no idea what was happening but he seemed to have fallen backwards and was now sat on the trunk.

‘You’re an animagus?’ Remus blurted, rather awkwardly. His voice broke out of nervousness and he felt a heavy wave of embarrassment cascade over him. The woman rolled her eyes.

‘Yes, Mr Lupin, how very perceptive. I am an animagus.’ Her voice remained authoritarian even though sarcasm. Now only feeling more awkward, Remus stood and shakingly pulled out his arm.

‘I’m sorry. You can call me Remus, if you’d like. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss…’ He froze, realising he had no idea as to whom he had been speaking. The witch reluctantly took Remus’ hand and shook it.

‘Professor. Professor McGonagall, Mr Lupin.’ The Professor released her grip on Remus’ sweaty palm. ‘Professor Dumbledore sends his apologies for not greeting you here himself but he has been called away on urgent business. A carriage should be arriving in a moment to take us to the castle.’ And almost like clockwork, a horseless carriage appeared at the end of the street, slowly making its way towards them.

‘Now, Mr Lupin,’ McGonagall spoke as they climbed into the carriage, ‘the OWL exams will begin in just over a week, that should give you ample time to settle into your new surroundings and begin your revision. Though, from what I hear from Professor Dumbledore, you seem particularly talented. You’ve began looking into the NEWT syllabus?’

‘Oh, yes,’ Remus confessed rather shyly. ‘Only in my spare time, I’ve not looked at everything yet.’ Something that he had said made McGonagall smile.

‘I see you achieving great things, Mr Lupin.’

 

*

 

Hogwarts castle was truly a wonder to behold. From its magnitude of spires to its fort like towered defences, Remus fell in love with the building instantly. He only loved the castle more the closer the carriage approached, making him able to make out the Victorian-esque Herbology Greenhouses, the expansive quidditch pitch and the thick and dense forest, spanning miles and separating the school grounds from what he believed to be muggle Scotland.

‘You will be residing with Gryffindor house while you are here,’ Professor McGonagall said, rearranging the pointed hat on her head. ‘You may find the company to be - unfortunate, however it is the only house to have a spare bed.’

‘Thank you, Professor.’ Remus stuttered, still in awe of the ever closening castle. It was only now that he seemed to grasp it, the fact that he would have to share a bedroom with other boys. This was an entirely new concept to Remus as he had next to no experience with interacting with other people of his age. For as long as he could remember he had always only talked to adults; his mother, father, family members, the odd shopkeeper in the village, but he had never had someone his own age to talk to. He never had a real friend.

It wasn’t before long that the carriage reached the Grand Entrance to the school, with its magnificent, massive mahogany doors and it’s beautiful maze of stone walls. Remus knew that he should have felt utterly amazed by the architecture of the building surrounding him but all he could think of was the prospect of having to socialise and all he felt was uncomfortable.

‘You should just have enough time to speak to Professor Dumbledore and have supper,’ McGonagall said, leading him into a vast, seemingly roofless room, which he could only assume was the Great Hall his father had spoke about. The room definitely lived up to its reputation and Remus instantly felt the discomfort in his stomach fade as the more pleasant feeling of awe returned. Before he knew it he had crossed the hall and was now being greeted with a welcoming smile by an elderly man with a long white beard and vivid purple robes.

‘Mr Lupin, I take it?’ Said the old man. Remus suddenly felt too nervous to speak so simply nodded enthusiastically. ‘You have the look of your father,’ he continued, ‘a very similar smile. I am Professor Dumbledore, I’m sure you had worked out.’

‘Yes sir,’ Remus stuttered. The odd comment about his father had thrown him slightly because, in Remus’ mind, he and his father could look nothing more unlike one another. Remus was a tall and thin boy with shabby brown hair and green eyes whereas his father was shorter than he was and more muscular, with greying black hair and brown eyes.

‘Now, we do need to have a short chat,’ Dumbledore’s voice had lowered both in volume and pitch, instantly changing from a jovial and flamboyant man to the more serious and authoritative wizard he was more famously known to be. ‘About your - lunar issues.’


	2. The Colourful Black

Potions had been a drag. Slughorn had lectured for a full two hours on how each individual in the class had to use their lesson time wisely in the run up to the OWLs and somehow he didn’t see the irony in doing this. After lunch his usual relaxing free afternoon had become an unbearable time of revision and rereading old textbooks and spellbooks. Something about this time of year was so insufferable, even the prospect of bewitching armour to chase first years and hexing Slytherins didn’t seem to ease the tension of the exam period. Even now in the Great Hall, most fifth years had abandoned conversation over dinner and were instead reading while they ate. 

‘Black, quit playing with your food and actually eat something,’ said Lily Evans, looking up from her charms spellbook. It was times like these where he really hated Evans’ company. She definitely wasn’t his first choice of friend to eat dinner with but the two had found themselves together more and more over the last couple of months. They had a strange relationship with one another, they didn’t see eye to eye on many things and argued often, but they held some sort of respect for one another where they could talk to each other more freely than with others, knowing that the other could keep secrets and generally give good advice. 

‘Do you really need to read while you eat, Evans?’ Sirius groaned, earning himself a glare from the girl from over her book as she defiantly bit into the sausage on her fork. 

Sirius wished that James were here, he would be amazing company and he definitely wouldn't study over a meal - he wouldn’t study at all! Worthington, stupid Emma Worthington. Emma Worthington was the sole reason the past few months of Sirius’ life had been so painfully dull. James’ new girlfriend was taking up every minute of his time and was totally insufferable to be around. This was probably one of the main reasons why Sirius and Lily had been spending more time together lately, they both hated the lack of attention they were receiving as of late. 

‘She’s started wearing those pink, plastic hoop earrings again,’ Lily muttered from behind her book. 

‘She looks disgusting, I hope she knows that,’ Sirius smirked. Bitching about James’ girlfriend was one of his new favourite past times and one he shared with Lily. 

‘I wonder what Potter sees in her.’ Lily lowered the book, the corner of her lip had curled in anticipation of what Sirius would say next. 

‘Probably just tits,’ Sirius giggled. 

‘She definitely has more breast than brain,’ Lily laughed so loud that she garnered glares from the Ravenclaw table, earning herself a few muffled ‘shhh’s. 

At that moment, as Lily was calming herself, Sirius saw someone new wander through the hall. This was a new boy, Sirius definitely didn’t recognise the face, and he was wearing old robes, which were very nice but had certainly seen better days. There was something unusual about him, something in the way he held himself, that told Sirius that he was interesting and that he should speak to him. He looked roughly the same age as both himself and Lily but wore no uniform. 

‘Evans, you haven’t seen him before, have you?’ Sirius checked. Lily turned her head towards the front of the hall where Dumbledore seemed to be deeply in conversation with the boy. 

‘No I - don’t think I have,’ Lily said, staring down the room. ‘He’s rather handsome though.’ 

‘Yeah,’ Sirius said without thinking and immediately regretting doing so. ‘I mean - for some guy. Nothing like -’ 

‘Aha!’ Lily spun her head back to Sirius to see the him blushing. ‘You said you weren’t interested in any guys at school!’ 

‘Keep your voice down!’ Sirius spat in a hushed, stern voice. ‘I mean - there are handsome guys here in school but I’m still not interested in them.’ He felt an almost nauseous feeling, he knew he should have told Lily that he thought he was gay, he had just felt so isolated that he needed to tell someone and she had been the person he had been talking to most lately. 

‘No, this is different,’ Lily said. ‘I’ve never seen you blush before!’ She gave him a soft and understanding smile, which didn’t help Sirius in the slightest. 

Sirius groaned, ‘I hate myself.’

‘I’m sure you’re not the only one,’ a thick Scottish voice came from behind him. 

‘Good evening, Professor.’ Lily smiled. 

‘Ah, Miss Evans. What - surprising company you keep,’ McGonagall muttered. 

‘If this is about the fourth year Slytherin hanging upside-down outside, I’m sorry. It’s just exam stress.’ Sirius groaned again. 

‘No, Mr Black, that isn’t why I’m here. Though you will receive a detention note tomorrow morning,’ She continued, ‘I’m here to ask if the two of you would be so kind as to assist Mr Lupin while he is here.’ 

‘Excuse me, but who is Mr Lupin?’ Lily asked, the two of them felt slightly perplexed. 

‘He’s talking to the headmaster. He should be over shortly.’ McGonagall said, checking her watch before promptly hurrying out of the hall. 

Of course it had to be him, Sirius thought to himself. He was attempting to breath slowly and calm himself before the boy reached them. He knew what he was doing was stupid, there were other attractive boys at Hogwarts, but he didn’t have feelings for any of them. He didn’t know this boy, he’ll probably be boring and he’ll lose interest by tomorrow, he told himself. 

‘I wonder if he’s gay.’ Lily pondered, making Sirius blush again. 

‘Evans, shut up,’ Sirius took a deep breath and regained composure. ‘I’ve never met someone who’s gay and I doubt I’m going to now,’ he said in more of a whisper, ‘and at any rate, I don’t even know him, not even his first name!’ 

‘Yet,’ Lily said with a wink before turning her head. The boy was walking towards them. 


	3. Hello

Whomping willow, touch the knot, follow the passage, enter the shack, wait until morning. Remus maintained this mantra as he walked over to the students Professor McGonagall had mentioned before she left him, there was a girl and a boy. The girl was pretty, with long red hair and a pale complexion, she looked very smart, with her uniform pristine and her books on the table. The boy was slightly different, he was very handsome, there was no denying that, he had unkempt black hair, which only seemed to add to his style, and piercing grey eyes. He didn’t look in place sitting with the girl, while she was very smart in her appearance, he wore his shirt unbuttoned at the top, his tie lazily hung around his neck and his face was lightly covered in a thin layer of stubble. 

‘Hello.’ Remus stood beside the red headed girl and attempted a smile. Although the boy seemed to have the more laid back style, he looked like he was the more nervous of the two, his cheeks were red and he was staring at Remus’ face. 

‘Mr Lupin, I take it?’ The girl put her book down to shake Remus’ hand. ‘My name is Lily Evans and the idiot sat across from me is Sirius Black.’ The playful attitude made Remus feel more at ease. The boy shot his eyes at Miss Evans before stretching his hand across the table towards Remus. 

‘Sirius Black, resident idiot - apparently. Pleased to meet you, Lupin,’ he smiled in a way that seemed to counteract all previous tensions he may have displayed earlier. Remus shook his hand and took a seat beside the girl. 

‘My name is Remus, by the way,’ he added. He wanted so badly to have good first impressions, not like he had done with McGonagall. ‘I’ve come here for the OWLs.’ The girl, Lily, seemed to light up at the mention of the OWLs while the boy, Sirius, gave a fearful shiver. 

‘That’s strange,’ the girl said. ‘I’ve never known someone only attend Hogwarts for their exams.’ 

‘I’m homeschooled,’ Remus replied quickly. Wanting to avoid them later asking why it was that he was homeschooled, he thought of an excuse. ‘I have an illness which means that sometimes I can’t work too well. My parents thought it best if I stayed at home and taught me.’ 

‘That must be really lonely,’ Sirius replied, without thinking and then quickly stumbling. ‘Sorry - I just meant - I wasn’t trying to be rude,’ he apologised while Lily gave him angered glances. 

‘It can be, I don’t really have any friends my age.’ Remus confessed, he imagined lying about lycanthropy was enough of a lie to keep so he may as well be honest about everything else. 

‘You don’t have any friends?’

‘Sirius! Shut up!’ Evans shot at him. 

‘Sorry.’

‘It’s fine,’ Remus laughed. ‘I’m used to it so it doesn’t bother me too much.’ The more he thought about it, the more he realised how isolated his lycanthropy had made him and he felt an uncomfortable wave of feeling wash over him. 

 

*

 

Sirius couldn’t imagine not attending Hogwarts. He had hated his home life and was planning to spend this summer with James, even if it would mean having to bare it if James invited his girlfriend to stay for a week. He couldn’t imagine not being surrounded by friends every day, just little things like casual conversation and the odd joke, nothing like what he could have with his family. 

‘Then, may I have the honour of becoming your first friend at Hogwarts,’ Sirius smiled. He knew he had messed up slightly already in the conversation but he desperately wanted to redeem himself now and provide a good first impression. 

There was something about the way Remus was so blasé with the stupid things he had said and how he maintained a smile even though it was obvious how nervous the boy was. Lily went on to talk to the boy about different upcoming topics in the exams and it quickly occurred to Sirius exactly how smart Remus really was. Before long it was dark outside and people began slowly leaving the Great Hall. 

‘I’m sorry but - I was told that I would be staying in Gryffindor, except I wasn’t told how to get to the dormitories.’ Remus sounded almost apologetic in the way he asked for help, like he didn’t want to be a hinderance to anyone and something about that made Sirius feel a tug in his chest. Sirius also felt a massive rush the moment he realised that Remus would be staying with him in Gryffindor. 

‘Well, it’s your lucky day because we’re actually both in Gryffindor,’ Lily smiled and proudly displayed her red and gold tie. 

‘Great, then I guess I’ll be staying with you for a few days then, Sirius,’ Remus shot a smile at him and Sirius couldn’t help but to smile back. Unbeknownst to Remus but definitely picked up by Sirius, was a subtle wink given by Evans. 

‘Great.’ Sirius blushed as they stood and left the hall.


	4. The Boys of Gryffindor

The moving staircases, living pictures and hidden tunnels were bewildering and fascinating to Remus, he just wished the place had a map because they were only halfway to the common room and he had no idea how he would get back to the Great Hall. After what felt like half an eternity and a hike later, they had finally reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, who’s name Remus didn’t quite understand, in his mind it almost felt like bullying a portrait.

‘Preparedness,’ Lily said as the portrait door opened and Sirius rolled his eyes.

‘She really changed the password for the exams?’ he murmured, quiet enough for the Fat Lady not to pick up on as they entered the common room.

The room was a warm sea of gentle conversation and an almost oppressive amount of the colour red. There was a strange homely feel to the place, as it the children residing here had worked to make this their own, with odd decorations, communal magazines and books.

‘It’s getting late and I want to be up early to revise for Potions’ Lily announced, leaving the two boys and ascending a staircase as Sirius lead towards another. ‘Goodnight Remus. Black.’

‘Evans,’ Sirius said, nodded to her. It was almost funny to watch the interactions between the two. It was obvious they were very close but they seemed to remain hostile in a way that was both playful but serious. ‘Our dorms are up here, I’ll introduce you to the others too.’

The dorms were small but cosy, five beds each pointing into the centre of the round room. There were three other boys in the room, two sat reading a magazine together and one going over revision notes on the other side of the room.

‘Evenin’, Sirius,’ said the boy on the far side of the room reading notes, he was also handsome, with golden blond hair.

‘Good evening, Frank,’ Sirius said. ‘This is Remus, he’s staying here for the OWLs.’ He stood aside, presenting Remus in the full light of the room.

‘Evenin’ Remus,’ Frank said. He may have been handsome but the boy definitely lacked enthusiasm.

‘Don’t mind him,’ Sirius said, chuckling slightly to himself. ‘Him and Alice are on the off period of their constant, infamous on-off relationship.’

‘Fuck off, Black,’ came a grunt from behind notes.

‘A pleasure as always, Longbottom,’ Sirius said, his lip curling slightly. ‘Frank isn’t really one for introductions anyway - but these two should be more polite,’ Sirius’ smile fell slightly. He whipped out a thin black wand, inscribed with runes, and flicked it while muttering a spell, causing a cloud to appear over the two boys reading the magazine and before it poured down rain on them.

‘Hey!’ The fat boy shouted. ‘Not cool, Sirius!’ The fat boy had mousy brown hair and a pig-like nose. While he complained the other boy on the bed laughed.

‘Sorry Sirius,’ the other boy said. This one was taller and more athletic looking, he was a similar height to Remus except he was more muscular and had short, jet-black hair. ‘Hello, Remus. James Potter, at your service.’

‘Apology accepted Potter,’ Sirius chuckled as Remus gave James a smile and a nod.

‘Now my bed’s soaked,’ the fat boy complained. ‘And I can’t even use the spare one tonight!’

‘Let me help,’ Remus took out his wand from the inside of his robe, it was smooth and made from cypress. With a quick flick and a murmured spell, the bed was dry. ‘Sorry I couldn’t dry you both, I just don’t want to get the spell wrong and dehydrate you.’

‘Wow.’ Sirius exclaimed, attempting to remain cool while hinting that he was honestly very impressed.

‘Thanks,’ the fat boy said. ‘My name’s Peter, Peter Pettigrew.’ He offered a damp hand and Remus shook it.

‘I think I may as well take a shower now that I’m already soaked. Sirius is like the servant here so just ask him for whatever you’d like,’ James said, leaving the dorm, leaving just enough time for Sirius to give him a certain hand gesture.

Unpacking some things and putting them into a set of draws, Remus felt like he belonged to something outside family for the first time in his life. The other boys were all sitting on their beds now. James and Peter were still rating the best models in Witch Weekly, Frank was still reading through notes and Sirius had his head in a book though Remus had a strange feeling that Sirius was watching him and not really reading. Sirius was a good first friend, he seemed funny and interesting, which Remus honestly hadn’t expected from someone so handsome. He had rather imagined that all good looking people lacked intellect but he guessed that that was just some prejudice he had against attractive people as he never thought of himself as attractive.

 

*

 

Sirius knew it was wrong to stare at Remus as he was unpacking but he just couldn't help it. As Remus was moving socks and underwear into his draws, Sirius could see his face perfectly lit by the candlelight.

Remus was handsome but not in the stereotypical way, he was more thin and pale than any models Sirius saw in magazines. He was scarred though, far more than just something trivial like falling and getting cut as a child. Remus’ scars were littered across his arms and there were some peaking over the collar of his shirt, hinting that his chest was scarred also. His face was not littered with scars, though there was one deeper and longer scar which began at his temple, cut through his eyebrow and nose, across his cheek and finishing at the opposite jaw. Although Sirius told himself that it would be impolite to point out such a featuring scar, he had an urge to tell Remus that he honestly found it very attractive, in a ruggedly handsome way.

‘Is there anywhere I can go to get changed?’ Remus asked. Sirius had been so far lost in his thoughts that he hadn't notice Remus turn to look at him, meaning that Remus had probably watched Sirius stare at him without saying anything for a good while now.

‘We normally just get changed in front of everyone, no one minds here,’ James replied and Sirius felt a wave of totally unnecessary anger overcome him.

‘You can draw the curtains of the bed and change there if you’d like, that’s probably the most convenient if you’re a little shy,’ Sirius smiled, then went back to pretending to read.

Remus had gathered some pajamas and drew the curtains of the bed. Sirius’ mind was wild and his imagination was working against him, the thought of Remus taking his clothes off just a few feet away was creating a strange feeling inside him. He knew it was wrong to imagine what Remus must look like inside there but he couldn’t help it. Sirius forced himself to censor his mind and think about things rationally, like the fact that Remus definitely wasn't gay. Remus didn’t even seem gay, he wasn't flamboyant or camp and, besides a slight Yorkshire accent, he didn’t sound gay in the way he spoke. Then again, Sirius didn't seem gay either and, besides Lily Evans, no one knew he was.

‘I’ve spent most of my day on a train so I think I’ll have an early night and get some good rest,’ Remus announced. Again, Sirius had been too busy with his thoughts to realise that Remus had drawn back the curtains.

‘Oh - goodnight, Remus,’ Sirius said, deciding that pretending to read was no longer any use and putting down his book. With no interest in spending the night revising or actually reading, Sirius kicked off his shoes and rolled under the blankets, only to spend the night thinking thoughts of Remus.


	5. The First Morning

Remus awoke early the next morning feeling equally excited and nervous about spending his first full day in Hogwarts castle. He had been given one week worth of study time while in Hogwarts before the OWLs officially began, apparently to give him enough time to settle into the castle and ask the professors anything that he was uncertain on before the exams. Remus wasn’t sure what he was going to do today, in his mind, he could afford to take a few days to explore the castle and maybe even learn the route between the common room and the Great Hall. Exploring the castle was fine in theory, except every student had lessons today so Remus would have to explore alone, which seemed lonely, but he was used to that. 

Remus sat up and looked across the room, everyone was still asleep except for Sirius, who was just finishing a book. On closer inspection, Remus saw that the book was actually written in French. Sirius hadn’t noticed Remus russell and continued to read. He looked peaceful, the way he lazily propped himself up on the bed with pillows and how his grey eyes slowly scanned the pages from right to left. Sirius was utterly flawless, his skin was pale and pristine, no blemishing, ugly scars to be seen. He didn’t have the boyish looks of James or the slenderness of Frank but he did have a masculine charm to him, how he was muscular with stubble and, as he was shirtless on his bed, Remus could see a tasteful amount of chest hair that beckoned downwards. Sirius seemed mysterious too, there was something about how he seemed to know exactly how to fit into a conversation and how he knew exactly what to say to seem simultaneously both funny and interesting. 

 

*

 

‘’Morning, Sirius,’ Remus’ voice was husky and gravelly and Sirius almost had a heart attack but managed to maintain composure. 

‘How was your first night?’ Sirius asked, attempting to match the manly morning tones of Remus’ voice. ‘I remember my first night being here, I was terrified - then again I was only eleven.’ 

‘I actually slept pretty well,’ Remus replied, laughing. ‘How did you sleep?’ 

‘I actually didn’t sleep,’ said Sirius. 

‘Why not? Are you alright?’ Remus asked, with a sense of real interest and concern. Something about Remus having a genuine concern for him made him blush, no matter how hard he tried to fight it. 

‘I don’t know, it was probably nothing.’ Sirius lied. He had really spent the whole night unable to think about anything besides questions he could ask Remus and thinking of cunning plans or potions that could turn him gay, with no real progress. ‘We could get ready and head down to breakfast early, before the entire school gets down there, if you want?’ 

‘That sounds perfect,’ Remus stretched and pulled off his pajama shirt. Sirius had been right, Remus’ body was a war zone, covered in countless scars. Remus had quickly realised what he had done and threw the shirt quickly over his chest again. On closer inspection, Sirius could see that the brown haired boy was slowly turning scarlet. Sensing that he would soon look over, Sirius looked away, pretending he hadn't noticed the scarred torso and like clockwork the curtains of Remus’ bed shut had around him. When Remus did finally open the curtains of the four poster, the boy was fully dressed in tight black pants, presumably he had grown out of them as they were unfortunately too short on the leg also, with a white shirt and a dark red cardigan. 

‘I thought I may as well represent Gryffindor a little bit,’ Remus smiled and Sirius had presumed that he never noticed Sirius see his scarred body. 

The walk down to the Great Hall was uneventful but maintained good conversation, mainly just Sirius commenting on different events and anecdotes to accompany the different areas they walked through. The hall was almost empty when they arrived, besides the odd Ravenclaw furiously making notes and reading textbooks over their toast and jam. Sirius had never been down to the Great Hall for breakfast so early before, the silence of the room was otherworldly. 

‘So what are your plans for today then, Remus?’ Sirius asked, sitting at his usual spot on the Gryffindor table and immediately reaching for sausages. 

‘I think I might take a couple of days to explore the castle and get to know it a little better,’ Remus replied, also taking a sausage. Sirius laughed. 

‘I’ve been here for five years now and I still can’t say that I've seen everything.’

‘How can you just leave mysteries of the place you've lived in for five years?’ Remus asked. ‘Don’t you want to see everything that’s here in the castle?’ Sirius thought for a while. 

‘I've never really thought about it that way before. Maybe I should take more interest in the old place?’ He smiled before taking a large bite of toast. 

‘Maybe you could help me get the hang of the main areas and then we could go in search of secret passages and stuff?’ Remus had a wide and excited grin on his face and Sirius felt a twisting feeling in his stomach. 

‘I’m really sorry but I have a full day of Transfiguration revision today,’ Sirius groaned. ‘I wouldn’t mind but I could probably pass my Transfiguration OWL with my eyes closed.’ 

‘It’s fine,’ Remus said, still smiling but noticeably less than a second ago. ‘I could meet outside the Transfiguration classrooms and we can explore after your lesson, if you’re not busy.’ 

‘I would love to go exploring the castle with you,’ Sirius blushed slightly knowing that Remus wanted to spend more time with him. ‘Transfiguration finishes at twelve.’

From there the conversation continued with Remus asking questions about school life and Sirius asking questions about homeschool life, though most of the time was taken by Sirius’ anecdotes. The pair didn't stop talking until Sirius felt a familiar shake on his shoulder to James and his god-forsaken girlfriend, Worthington, behind him. 

‘If you don’t head off now, you’ll be late for McGonagall and I think that’s the last thing you want,’ James leaned in, being sure to smile at Remus as he did. 

‘Oh, Jamie,’ the girlfriend moaned. ‘If Siri wants to be late, then Siri can be late. Come on Jamie, lets go!’ The girl had a high pitched voice and seemed to speak faster than she could think as it was evident to anyone who had spent more than five minutes with the girl that she had an utter lack of intellect and instead devoted her minimal mental capacity to Witch Weekly and the art of Divination. 

‘You go, I’ll catch up,’ Sirius groaned, urging the girl to leave his presence with every fibre of his being. ‘I’m sorry, Remus. I’ll meet you later.’ Remus smiled and nodded understandingly. 

‘No problem,’ he said, smiling. ‘I’ll wander around the castle for a while and then try to find the Transfiguration classrooms.’ Sirius stood, grabbed his bag and left, waving back on his way out of the hall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters begin to get a little longer from here. Be sure to leave a comment to let me know what you think and give a kudos if you enjoyed ;)


	6. The Sharp End

Transfiguration was unbearable and seemed to drag on for days rather than the three hours it really was. The only thing Sirius could think about was talking to Remus and maybe having a chance to guide him around the castle later to see some of his favourite places where he would often go to think or where he and Evans would go to complain to each other about James’ girlfriend. The minute the clock struck twelve Sirius snatched up his bag and made a run for the door.

‘Not so fast, Mr Black,’ McGonagall’s voice cut above the mumbles of the class. ‘I believed I promised you a detention yesterday.’ Sirius decided to pretend he didn't hear her and sped up towards the door. The next thing he knew he had fallen on the floor and was bound around the legs by rope which had instantly been produced from the tip of the professor’s wand.

‘You wanted something, Minerva?’ Sirius rolled over on the floor and gave McGonagall a sweet and false smile.

‘Don’t you Minerva me, Black,’ she almost spat. Minerva McGonagall was usually a very level headed and calm woman in all situations, unless the situation involved Sirius Black using her first name. ‘You’ll be marking my third year’s homework for two hours, Mr Black.’ And with that she avoided any further argument by transfiguring into a cat and was sitting guard on a table by the door.

‘But Remus is -’ he began, but the cat made no movement.

Marking third year homework was hellish. The spells were all misspelled and the handwriting was crude and childish, Sirius couldn’t believe that this is what his work must have looked like only two years ago. Outside, he could hear the sounds of laughing and spells being fired, it was torture to think about other people having fun outside, just a few feet out of his reach. He watched the hands of the large clock slowly revolve around its face at a snail's pase and each second he thought about how confused Remus must be, waiting alone, not knowing anyone besides the boys in his dorm and Evans.

The very instant the hour hand hit two and the chime sounded, Sirius was on his feet and running out of the door, successfully this time. Remus wasn’t outside so he presumed the boy had got bored and left for the common room. He ran as fast as he could to the other side of the castle, tearing across courtyards and through hallways. By the time he reached the Gryffindor common room he was covered in sweat and totally out of breath. Remus was nowhere to be found in the common room or in the dorms, something felt odd.

‘Black! Thank god you’re here,’ came the familiar voice of Lily Evans. In all the five years Sirius had known the redhead, she had never been happy to see him, not once. Something had to be very wrong. What was even stranger is that she was accompanied by Emma Worthington. Something awful must have happened, Sirius thought.

‘I think that new guy must have got beat up or stabbed or something,’ Worthington said in her screechy voice, there was a hint of concern somewhere under her ungodly whining but Sirius didn’t care about her right now.

‘Remus? Is Remus alright?’ Sirius spoke quickly, his eyes darting between the two girls.

‘Potter and Pettigrew are cleaning him up in the bathroom, you should -’ Sirius had left before Lily had even finished her sentence. He darted through the boys bathroom door and found his two friends crouched down, Remus sat on the floor against a wall, his white shirt crimson with blood.

‘Remus! Are you alright?’ Sirius was by the bloodied boy’s side before he knew it. ‘Who did this to you? Do you need to go the the hospital wing?’

‘I’m fine, Sirius,’ Remus said smiling, followed by a groan and a wince of pain. Despite literally dripping in blood, he was still smiling.

‘We want to clean him up properly but he won't let us take his shirt off,’ said James. Sirius knew why, it was to do with Remus’ scars.

‘You two leave us for a minute,’ Sirius said to James and Peter. ‘I’ll sort him out.’ And with that, James and Peter nodded and left the two boys alone on the bathroom floor.

‘Why did you ask them to leave?’ Remus asked, still groaning with each breath.

‘I know you didn’t want them to see your scars,’ said Sirius. Remus’ face quickly became more worried than it had been. ‘Sorry, I saw you this morning. Don’t worry, it’s fine, I won't ask about it if you don't want me to.’

‘Thanks,’ said Remus, he still didn't look happy but that was understandable in this situation.

Slowly, Sirius unbuttoned the reddened, white shirt to reveal Remus’ blood covered, scarred body. After slowly dabbing a damp cloth over the buys chest, to mop up the blood, Sirius could begin to see where all the blood had been coming from. Going straight across Remus’ chest were three deep and fresh wounds, they looked as if someone had taken a scalpel to the boy’s torso.

The next fifteen minutes were spent with Sirius cleaning and treating Remus’ wounds with dittany and wrapping bandages around his chest. Remus winced at every movement and Sirius tried his hardest to make the process as painless as possible but they both knew that any movement would involve pain.

‘Remus, you need to tell me what happened,’ Sirius whispered, there was no need to speak unnecessarily loudly when the two of them were utterly alone.

‘It’s nothing, Sirius, really,’ Remus had to whisper, speaking any louder would involve more lung movement, which would cause more pain.

‘Remus,’ Sirius felt awful, there was no way he knew how to help Remus without finding out what had really happened to him. ‘We’re friend now, we tell each other the truth.’ Something within what Sirius had said must had stirred Remus, his smile dropped and his eyes looked into Sirius’.

‘Ok, friends tell each other the truth.’

 

*

 

‘We’re friend now, we tell each other the truth.’ said Sirius. Remus felt a pain in his chest, not the cuts on the surface, but something deeper within him. Only yesterday he had told himself that he would be honest about everything besides his lycanthropy and Sirius was his friend now. Before that moment, Remus had always imagined having friends would be different, more laughing and getting food together and drinking whisky and sharing stories, less covered in blood and lying on a bathroom floor. He let down his defences and looked up into Sirius’ deep grey eyes, they were truly beautiful.

‘Ok, friends tell each other the truth.’

 

Sirius had just left the Great Hall, waving behind him as he walked through the door. Remus felt more vulnerable than he had just thirty seconds ago, now he was alone, surrounded by strangers in this monolithic, ancient castle. Taking a deep breath and giving himself a quick motivational speech in his inner monologue, Remus rose from the table and walked through the great doors of the Great Hall. He had no idea in which direction he should go first, he decided to start by walking through the outside grounds and courtyards and left the castle.

The grounds of Hogwarts were beautiful, like nothing he had ever seen at home, in rural Yorkshire. The Dark Forest was dense and mysterious, the Black Lake was beautiful, and again, mysterious, Remus began to think that ‘mysterious’ was becoming a common theme with Hogwarts. By the time he had finished walking through the grounds he had found himself waiting in the Transfiguration Courtyard. He thought, if he could wait here for a little while, he could probably catch Sirius on his way out of class.

The wait was slow and boring, there were instances of interest, when stone statues would start fights with one another, but there was nothing much to do for the most part. As soon as the clock struck twelve, Remus saw a magnitude of darkly robed students rush in different directions across the courtyard, all having somewhere to go or someone to meet. Remus waited with eager anticipation, staring into the crowd for his dark haired, handsome friend. After fifteen minutes he began to wander the perimeters of the courtyard and after half an hour he decided to just sit under one of the courtyard’s oak trees.

Perhaps Sirius didn’t see him in the crowds of the courtyard, Remus thought to himself, or perhaps he forgot that Remus was going to meet him there, or, perhaps his most worrying thought, Sirius had seen Remus in the courtyard and decided to go elsewhere. It was while these thoughts were racing through his mind that he heard a distinctive female laughter accompanied by the conversations of two male voices.

‘- and I told that cretinous little shop-keep that, when our time comes, we’ll come for his family in masks!’ The girl shrieked with laughter, though Remus didn’t quite understand the joke.

‘You better not be giving away our plans now, Bella,’ a nasally boy said. He sounded younger than the girl.

‘She’s just dying to leave this godforsaken place and get down to business, Severus,’ an older boy said. The girl laughed, presumably as a sign of agreement, before speaking again, this time in a lower whisper.

‘Uncle Orion told be that they were bringing in an animal to Hogwarts this year.’

‘Do you mean the cat?’ The older boy said, presumably talking about Professor McGonagall.

‘No, Lestrange. Something with a little more of a bite,’ The younger boy said.

‘It’s a -’ The girl spoke in a hushed but definitely excited tone. ‘Werewolf!’

Remus felt his blood run cold. No one was suppose to know of that fact, let alone these strange students. He didn’t have enough time to think before he was upside down in mid air, hanging by his ankles.

‘It seems that we have been in company.’ The younger boy said. He had just walked into view, his wand pointed at Remus. The boy was roughly the same age as Remus but the two could not look more unalike. The boy was pale, with long, greasy black hair and a hooked nose.

‘How much do you think he heard?’ The older boy said. He was more tall, dark and handsome but something about him scared Remus.

‘Boy! How much did you hear?’ The girl shouted. She was pretty, with a porcelain complexion and long, wavy black hair. Between all three of them, she scared him the most. There was something in her smile that saw sinister and chilling. ‘And don’t lie! Snape can tell.’

‘I was asleep!’ Remus shouted, feeling blood rushing into his head. ‘I didn’t hear anything!’

‘Lies,’ said the boy, Snape. At that moment the girl reached for her wand and shot at him with a spell that looked like red lightning. Remus couldn’t remember what spell she had said because all he could feel in his body was pain, pain unlike anything he had felt before, even after a transformation.

‘Practice makes perfect,’ The girl sang and laughed. Remus hadn’t noticed, but sometime during the pain, he had been dropped to the floor. There wasn't enough time to even think. Remus reached into his pocket for his wand.

‘ _Expelliarmus!_ ’ He shouted, disarming the girl.

‘INSOLENT LITTLE -’ The girl was wide eyed with rage, her insane laughter had now become a maniacal scream. From the inside of a knee length leather boot, she produced a knife and was now edging closer. Remus didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how to fight. The only experience with offensive magic he had was the disarming spell and that was only because he had watched his dad use it.

‘Now, Bella,’ Snape said, forcing her to stop in her tracks. ‘We wouldn’t want to be so crude as to resort to muggle methods. Allow me.’ Remus didn’t know whether the greasy haired boy was at this moment his saviour, or whether he wanted to do something worse.

‘Please, I didn’t hear anything -’

‘ _Sectumsempra!_ ’ The boy spat. The pain was instant. Remus could feel three distinct slits carve into his chest as if someone had really taken a knife to him.

 

*

 

‘- and after that,’ Remus explained. ‘I managed to drag myself up to the common room, then James and Peter helped me into the bathroom.’

Sirius still didn’t know what to think, his mind was a mess of thoughts.

‘I’m so sorry, Remus,’ was the only thing Sirius seemed capable of saying. All he could do was blame himself. If he hadn’t have got himself a detention then all of this never would have happened to Remus and they wouldn’t be sitting here, covered in blood on a bathroom floor.

‘No, this is my fault,’ said Remus. Sirius wasn’t sure what he was saying or maybe Remus was delusional because this was obviously Sirius’ fault.

‘Remus, no. This is my fault. If I didn’t have a detention then you would have never seen Bellatrix or Lestrange or Snape,’ Sirius felt a burning feeling of regret in his stomach. ‘That curse Snape used on you, it’s like nothing I’ve seen before.’

‘None of this would have happened if I just knew more about practical defensive magic,’ Remus groaned, still in pain.

‘But Remus, you’re a great wizard,’ said Sirius. ‘I heard you talk to Evans about all the NEWT grade books you were reading.’

‘Homeschooling gave me a lot of time to read books,’ said Remus. ‘But it didn’t give me any chance to practice defending myself in the real world.’ Remus closed his eyes in shame, Sirius felt that if Remus could hang his head without causing extreme pain in his body, then he would have done.

‘Remus, you need to go to the hospital wing,’ said Sirius. Remus’ eyes opened immediately.

‘No! I mean, I don’t want to draw any attention to this,’ he said in an almost regretful tone.

‘What do you mean?’ Sirius exclaimed, surprised. ‘We have you get you fixed up and we need to get Bellatrix, Lestrange and Snape expelled!’

‘Sirius,’ Remus’ voice was softer in contrast with Sirius’ at this moment. ‘Please. I don’t want to start anything with those people.’ Remus knew that he would have to explain what had happened to him if the school found out that he had been attacked and he didn’t want to start anything with these people, who may have known of his lycanthropy. Although he didn't understand it himself, Sirius couldn't find it within himself to go against Remus.

‘Alright,’ Sirius said, reluctantly. ‘But I’m taking care of you.’

‘Thank you.’


	7. Firewhisky

Remus was lay in bed, painfully dabbing his wounds with a dittany soaked rag, helpfully provided by Lily Evans, who was incidentally excellent at brewing potions. Sirius and James had carefully dragged him from the bathroom floor up to the dorm and into his bed. He had been in Hogwarts for less than twenty-four hours and he had already been seriously injured and had to rely on the help of new friends. This was not the experience he had expected. 

‘Do you want any water?’ Lily said, pacing across the room and fretting over him. ‘Or maybe you’d like some whisky to take your mind off things. You and James still keep firewhiskey up here, don't you, Sirius?’ 

‘No, really I’m -’ Before Remus had even a chance to speak, Sirius had already routed through his trunk and produced a red-coloured glass bottle. 

‘I don't imagine you’ll be joining us for a drink, Evans?’ Sirius said, taking a short swig from the bottle. ‘I imagine this sort of “stupid Black and Potter stuff” is beneath you.’

‘Thanks, but you really don't need -’ Remus couldn't fit a word in edgeways before he was interrupted again. 

‘Pass me the bottle,’ snapped Evans. Sirius looked shocked and surprised at Lily’s seeming defiance of her usual nature. She took the red bottle from Sirius’ hand and raised it slightly. ‘A toast to Remus’ speedy recovery.’ 

‘Thank you, but -’ 

‘Merlin! This stuff is awful!’ Lily shouted, clutching her burning throat and wiping a drop of the red liquid from her chin. 

‘A little stronger than the muggle whisky you’re used to, Evans?’ Sirius smirked. 

‘I’m not “used” to any whisky, Black,’ she shot back, coughing. 

‘I’ve never had whisky before either,’ Remus mumbled, feeling a sense of achievement in not being interrupted. 

‘Well, no better time than the present to try it,’ Sirius smiled. Evans passed Remus the bottle and he took a sniff of the alcohol vapour. The stuff smelt vile and it was made no better by the fact that lycanthropy meant that Remus’ sense of smell was heightened more than the average person. 

‘You don’t have to try it if you don't -’ In a rush of not wanting to seem timid or boring, Remus took a long gulp of the firewhiskey. 

‘Pleasantly disgusting,’ said Remus, passing the bottle back to Sirius, who was smiling. Spending a night a month howling at the top of his lungs must have strengthened his throat as, although the whiskey didn’t taste as good as apple juice, there was no burning sensation like what Lily had felt. 

‘I’m impressed,’ Sirius confessed, still smiling. Smiling was something Sirius seemed to do a lot. 

 

*

 

As the night progressed, the three of them became slowly more intoxicated and the conversation changed topics frequently, giving each of them enough time to learn a little bit on each others opinions on; school, quidditch, the muggle world and music. 

Sirius was enjoying himself thoroughly. When he usually got drunk, it would be with James and Peter and he would have to give fake opinions on which girls at school he thought were hot and they would end the night in intoxicated arguments that nobody would remember in the morning. Drinking with Remus and Evans felt different. Remus was less like James and Peter and, although they were both good friends of his, the introduction of Remus’ sarcastic sense of humor and intellectual conversation, not just talking about girls and quidditch, was an amazing change. Somehow, the topic had reached something himself and Evans could definitely get on board with.

‘So, is James’ girlfriend a friend of yours?’ Remus asked, still prodding himself with dittany. 

‘Merlin, no!’ Evans laughed. Sirius was beginning to understand that this was actually the first time Evans had drank any alcohol and it was making her more - animated than usual. ‘I think she’s disgusting. So does Sirius, by the way.’ Attempting to sound more friendly, Sirius tried to dampen Evans’ comment. 

‘I just - don't think they really suit each other,’ Sirius saved himself. 

‘I get that,’ Remus nodded. ‘I wouldn’t really imagine the two of them together. They just seem so different, personality wise.’ 

‘You can say that again,’ Evans was laughing. ‘Potter may be disgusting but she's just - disgusting. See, completely different!’ Sirius could already see that Lily was now vacant behind the eyes and so decided to intervene. 

‘Lily, you look tired,’ said Sirius, straining himself to sound concerned. ‘Why don't you take a nap on Peter’s bed, I’m sure he won't mind sleeping on the floor.

‘Pettigrew’s bed?’ She laughed loudly. ‘No thank you. I’ll take Franks, he won't be using it tonight. He got back with Alice at lunch so they’ll probably spend the night in a broom closet, making up for lost time.’ Even Remus couldn't help but laugh, although it did cause considerable amounts of pain in his chest to do so. 

‘Thank you for that little - enlightenment, Evans,’ Sirius said, cringing internally. He slowly made his way around the other side of Remus’ bed and helped Lily over to Frank’s bed, where she promptly collapsed into a deep, snoring sleep. Remus spoke as he made his way back over to him. 

‘So, do you have a girlfriend too?’ Remus asked, innocently. Sirius used every muscle in his body and every fiber of his being not to just stop in his tracks. With much strain, he answered. 

‘No,’ he said simply, feeling every ounce of blood pumping through his head. ‘You?’ Remus laughed and doubled in pain. 

‘You’re my first real friend and I only met you yesterday,’ he said with a pained smile. ‘Do you think there's much chance in me having a relationship?’ It was this slight satire that made Sirius loosen up more again. ‘No boyfriend either?’ Sirius took such a deep breath that he coughed. How could Remus ask such a question so nonchalantly? Was he making some kind of joke? Did he know that Sirius was -. The word couldn’t even process in his mind. 

‘What?’ Was the only thing Sirius was capable of saying. 

‘Sorry, I’m probably asking something too personal,’ Remus apologised. ‘I don’t mind if you are though - gay. I mean, I think everyone thinks about it sometimes.’ 

‘I’m not,’ Sirius’ lips moved unconsciously and instinctively. 

‘Okay,’ said Remus, giving Sirius a quick smile before taking a swig of the bottle. 

‘Are you?’ Sirius asked, curiously. He was wading into dangerous waters here. ‘I don’t mind either, unless it’s personal.’ He looked at Remus who put down the bottle and took a moment to collect his thoughts. 

‘I’m not sure,’ Remus said simply, taking another gulp of the firewhiskey before continuing. ‘I don’t think I’ve met enough people my age to know for sure.’ He said it with such a philosophical air, Sirius was enthralled. ‘I honestly think I don’t mind. Bisexual, I think that’s called.’ 

‘Wow,’ Sirius said before he could even stop himself. 

‘What?’ 

‘Nothing.’

‘I thought you said something?’ 

‘I just,’ Sirius couldn't even keep up with everything that was being said. From girlfriends to boyfriends, gay to bisexual, there was so much being said. ‘I think that you have a good point.’ He smiled and Remus smiled back. 

‘I don't think relationships are written in the cards for me, though,’ Remus said, his smile falling subtly. 

‘Why would you say that?’ Sirius asked, very confused. In his mind, Remus was probably an ideal boyfriend for anyone, man or woman. ‘I think you’re amazing,’ said the alcohol, coursing through Sirius’ bloodstream. The regret was instant but, the way Remus smiled again when he said it, somehow made that piercing feeling seem worth it. 

‘Thanks, Sirius,’ he said, then looking out of the window towards the slither of moon which gleared through the clouds in the night sky. ‘It’s just - personal.’ Sirius accepted that he didn’t need to know. Remus was definitely smart enough and reasonable enough to keep his reasons to himself. 

‘I think it’s time we got some sleep,’ said Sirius. ‘James will probably be out late with Worthington and Peter’s probably still on his fifth course of pudding.’ Remus laughed and winced. 

‘You’re probably right,’ the boy said. As Sirius stood to walk to his bed he felt a hand wrap around his wrist and his stomach filled with butterflies. When Sirius turned his head, he saw that Remus was looking down slightly, avoiding eye contact. ‘Thank you, for everything.’ 

‘Remus, you don't have to thank -’

‘I mean it. These past couple of days have been really scary and I - don't know what I would have done if you weren't here.’ Remus was now looking directly into Sirius’ eyes. Sirius took note of Remus’ eyes, with their rich emerald colour, like a field in summer, and the band of rich gold in the middle. ‘Thank you.’ 

‘It’s my pleasure,’ said Sirius. He couldn't help but to maintain eye contact with Remus. A stupid thought crossed his mind but he wanted so badly to make Remus feel happy that it didn’t matter. 

‘Do you want to - sleep in my bed tonight? I mean,’ Sirius knew that he sounded stupid. ‘My bed has two mattresses, I stole Peter’s in second year and he never noticed, but it’s probably more comfortable and if you’re in pain -’ He took a deep breath and prepared himself for Remus to laugh at him and call him a fag or something equivalent. 

‘Are you sure?’ Remus said. Sirius let out a sigh of relief. 

‘Of course.’

‘Then, thanks,’ Remus smiled in a way that made Sirius’ heart melt. At that moment Lily gave a loud snore and said something in her sleep that sounded oddly like “stupid Potter”. Sirius put an arm around Remus’ waist and carefully helped him out of his bed. 

Remus’ body felt right against Sirius’. Sirius’ arm fit perfectly around the other boy’s waist and Remus’ slight extra height meant that he could lean his head down, against Sirius’ as they crossed the room. After Remus was settled on the bed Sirius wandered back across the room. 

‘You could sleep next to me if you want?’ Remus’ voice cut through the air, Sirius’ heart raced and the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. ‘There’s enough room and your bed is definitely more comfortable than mine.’ Sirius’ mind was a frenzy and he felt too many things to process. 

‘No, thanks,’ he finally said. ‘You wouldn’t want me rolling onto your wounds in the night and hurting you.’ 

‘Good point,’ said Remus, his tone, not disappointed but not pleased either. 

‘Goodnight, Remus,’ said Sirius, lying back on Remus’ bed. 

‘Goodnight, Sirius.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear what people think so feel free to leave a comment ^_^


	8. His Tallest Tower

Remus woke the next morning to the sound of an argument.

‘Lily, you need to get out of bed or you’ll be late for Defence Against the Dark Arts,’ came the voice of James from across the room.

‘Can you not shout please, Potter? What are you doing in the girls dorms anyway? Perv.’ Lily’s voice was low and croaky and she was presumably hungover.

‘Did you just call me a perv?’ James said, astonished. ‘You’re sleeping in Longbottom’s bed!’ Though Remus’ eyes were still closed, he could imagine Lily’s puzzled expression.

‘Wait. What the -?’ Lily had gotten out of the bed and promptly stumbled into Sirius’, where Remus was lay. ‘BLACK!’ Lily shouted, punching Remus’ leg with quite some force. ‘You got me drunk and then you just left me to sleep in Longbottom’s bed!’ She spat, pummeling Remus’ leg.

‘Lily, it’s me, Remus. Not Sirius.’ Remus finally spoke. He wish he could have captured Lily’s expression in a photograph, she had jumped almost a foot in the air and covered her mouth with her hands.

‘Remus! I’m so sorry! I thought you were that toerag, Black,’ she apologised at a rapid pace. ‘I’m sorry, Remus. Please forgive me!’

‘Don't worry, Lily,’ Remus laughed, though very much wanting to rub his aching leg. ‘I think he said something last night about heading down to breakfast early, something about doing something to some Slytherins.’ Lily’s face remained red but her tone changed from apologetic to sheer anger.

‘Thank you, Remus, and I’m sorry for punching you. I’m going to murder Sirius Black!’ She shouted, before leaving the dorm and slamming the door behind her.

‘There's definitely something true about redheads being fiery,’ Peter mumbled before there was a distant shriek.

‘I heard that Pettigrew!’ Peter had been so frightened that he fell of the edge of his bed. There were a few moments of relieving silence before a familiar voice cut in.

‘Thanks for that, Remus,’ Sirius pulled Remus’ sheets off himself, he had hidden under them as soon as Lily had woken up. ‘She really would have killed me, you know.’ He smiled, displaying his straight, porcelain teeth.

‘There's some serious issues with violence in this school,’ Remus joked.

‘I’m very impressed with our new friend,’ James said. ‘We may have to make room for an additional marauder in our group,’ he said, more towards the other two than Remus. ‘So, how’s your chest feeling today, Lupin?’

‘A lot better, actually. That dittany really worked out.’ Remus said. He knew that lycanthropy would negate any effect of dittany but the lycanthropy would also help him heal faster so it would look like the dittany worked anyway, no one would know any better.

The morning went by quickly. Sirius still had a Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson that morning so Remus decided to stay in bed and read until he finished his lesson, he didn’t want to chance walking around the castle alone again.

He was really beginning to see what Sirius and the others had against the Slytherins. This was definitely not just a friendly school rivalry, this was something more. Remus had heard all about the dark wizards who were circulating as of late, under some sort of neo-Grindelwald, blood-purist, extremist group, working for a man called Riddle. Thinking back to yesterday, he reflected on what the girl, Bellatrix, had said, something about them coming for a man’s family in masks. Whatever it was Remus had heard, he didn’t want to find out exactly what it was.

 

*

 

The new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher was annoying and still couldn’t remember anyone’s names, though the Defence job was cursed, so she wouldn’t be needing to know their names for much longer. Twice today, Sirius had been called “Samantha”. The one advantage to Professor Mayer was that she never gave out detentions so Sirius was free to leave the lesson as soon as the clock chimed midday.

It didn't take Sirius five minutes to run up to the common rooms and meet Remus. He was still on Sirius’ bed and reading a muggle book called “Nineteen Eighty-Four”. Remus was wearing the same skinny black pants as the day before, this time with a new white shirt, half buttoned up and exposing some of his chest and two of the three piercing scars that Snape had inflicted.

‘Guess who,’ Sirius said, hiding behind the door.

‘Does it sound like “Serious Quack”?’ Remus said. Sirius was still behind the door but he could already tell exactly the kind of lip curled smile Remus had on his face. Revealing himself, Sirius came out from behind the door and sat on the bed next to Remus.

‘Your chest’s looking a lot better now,’ Sirius said. He had an urge to trace the wounds on the other boy’s torso with his hand but refrained.

‘I think I should be alright to go for a walk, if you still want to go?’ It was clear that Remus desperately wanted to get out of bed and explore the castle with Sirius but he had a blasé way of saying it, such that Sirius would not feel bad if he were to refuse. This was completely unnecessary though as Sirius desperately wanted to spend more time with Remus.

‘I think that’s a good idea.’ Sirius smiled, offering Remus a hand out of his bed.

After leaving the Gryffindor common rooms, Sirius educated Remus on the Grand Staircase, teaching him which steps were false and should be jumped over to avoid falling through. After that Sirius began the tour in the dungeons with the potions classrooms, then slowly took Remus up to each level of the school to see each of the main classrooms, ending with Sirius’ personal favorite part of the caste, the Astronomy tower. By the time the two reached the top of the tower, it had reached twilight and the sky was a hazy red and blue in the dying summer sun.

‘And this concludes the basic tour of the castle,’ said Sirius, giving a slight bow.

‘That was basic?’ Remus laughed.

‘Well there are secret passages and rooms that nobody knows about, like the Chamber of Secrets and the Room of Requirement, but I’m pretty sure the Chamber of Secrets is just a myth,' said Sirius. He took a step forward and leaned against the hand railing, looking out at the view, mere inches from the edge of the tallest tower in the castle.

‘Chamber of Secrets? Sounds awfully pretentious,’ Remus said joining Sirius by the railing. ‘Did a Slytherin name it?’

‘You learn fast,’ said Sirius, laughing. It was as he laughed that he felt the ancient railing that was supporting him shift and give way. Sirius had thrown cigarette subbs from the tower enough times to know how far the drop was. He shut his eyes and braced himself. Remus wouldn’t be able to move fast enough to catch him. There was no way he could survive.

Somehow, Sirius’ death seemed to take far longer than he had expected. Slowly, he openened his eyes. The sky was still there and the Dark Forest and the grounds were still at least three-hundred feet below him. Somehow, Sirius was alive and safe. Just behind his ear, he could hear heavy breathing and there was something holding his body. There was a loud metallic crack from far below, presumably the railing hitting the cobbled floor of the courtyard below.

‘That was - close,’ came Remus’ voice, between deep and heavy breaths. Sirius didn't know what to say or even how to say anything, the only function he had were his legs pushing him into Remus’ body and away from the sheer ledge.

Sirius was slowly realising what was happening. When the railing fell through, Remus had wrapped his arms around Sirius, one arm around his waist and the other around his chest, his head was bent down with his chin on Sirius’ shoulder, though, Remus would have to had moved impossibly fast to catch him. The rush of adrenaline from a near death experience and from having Remus’ body tightly pressed against his own was enough to give Sirius a heart attack.

Still unable to form words, Sirius just stood there in Remus’ embrasse for a few seconds before Remus loosened his grip and pulled the two of them back. Without words or warning, Sirius turned, wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist and nestled his head against the boy’s chest. In retrospect, Sirius thought, doing this probably hurt Remus somewhat as he was pressing his face against yesterday’s wound but Remus made no move to stop Sirius.

‘Are you alright?’ Remus’ voice was soft but still panting slightly. Sirius nodded into Remus’ chest, as if it were a valid answer. He wasn’t sure exactly how long it was that he had his arms around Remus but after what he felt was long enough, he loosened his arms and let go.

‘Thanks,’ was all he seemed able to say.

‘No problem,’ the other boy replied, backing into some Astronomy apparatus. He looked pale, probably even as pale as Sirius. ‘Couldn’t let my first ever friend fall to his death on my watch after two days of knowing him.’ The two of them laughed with an odd sting as to the reality of the joke.

‘I would be if you didn’t grab me - dead, I mean,’ Sirius said, his brain still a mess. ‘I don't know how you managed to grab me so fast.’

‘Arresto Momentum,’ said Remus. Sirius felt puzzled. ‘That’s the spell.’

‘But you didn’t have your wand in your hand,’ Sirius said. ‘You never said anything.’

‘Homeschooling gives you a lot of free time to practice wandless and wordless magic,’ Remus said, finally getting his breath back.

‘Remus, that’s amazing,’ Sirius was still panting. ‘You used magic more advance than NEWT level to save my life.’

‘It was nothing really,’ muttered Remus.

‘You saved my life with it!’ Sirius didn’t understand how Remus could be so very intelligent yet so totally oblivious to how amazing he really was.

‘I mean - that wasn’t nothing - but the magic was just something I -’

‘Remus. Shut up.’ Sirius had no idea how to make Remus understand how amazing he really was but he vowed to himself that he would show him one day.


	9. Offence

The weekend had arrived and the aesthetic of Hogwarts changed drastically, the timeless drab uniforms were swapped for the height of seventies fashion. When Remus woke up, Sirius had changed from his regular white shirt, black pants and red tie, into black skinny jeans, a grey Bowie t-shirt, a denim jacket and boots. He was sat across the room, in his own bed, reading through Remus’ copy of Nineteen Eighty-Four.

‘I didn’t know they expected muggle life to be so dark and depressing in the eight years time,’ said Sirius. He must have been awake for some time as he looked already halfway through the book. Remus laughed.

‘It’s dystopian fiction, Sirius. Wizards don't really have much of it. It’s just a story.’

‘If it’s just a story then why is it so depressing?’ Sirius asked. ‘Why didn’t Orwell throw in a dragon for entertainment value?’ Remus attempted to think of an analogy that Sirius would understand.

‘Like The Three Brothers story, it’s a bit dark but interesting. It’s more “Space Oddity” than “Starman”.’ Remus concluded and Sirius gave a knowing nod.

James had left for morning quidditch practice, accompanied by Peter, and Frank was nowhere to be seen so Remus took the opportunity to get dressed outside the confines of his bed curtains since Sirius had already seen the worst of his scars. While he was getting dressed he was haunted by a strange feeling that Sirius was watching him and not really reading the book. Remus dressed himself in a pair of dark blue jeans and a new Queen t-shirt he had got for christmas, worn to compliment Sirius’ Bowie t-shirt, and a grey jacket.

‘I was wondering if you could teach me some practical defence stuff,’ Remus said, tying his shoelaces.

‘If you can teach me that wandless and wordless magic,’ said Sirius. He had thrown the book back onto Remus’ bed and began to polish his wand with his t-shirt. ‘That stuff saved my life last night.’ He gave Remus a wink before leading towards the door.

Remus followed Sirius through the castle and out to the edge of the Black Lake. The lake was dark, as the name suggested, and so still that it was mirror like. They were surrounded by the lake on one side, the forest adjacent, and by the grounds, up and towards the castle.

‘You start with offence and show me what you’ve got,’ Sirius said, throwing his jacket onto the floor behind him. Remus didn’t know what to do first. Should he disarm and then stun, or use a body bind curse? ‘You’re taking too long,’ shouted Sirius, running a hand through his dark, wavy hair.

‘ _Stupify!_ ’

‘ _Protago.’_

‘ _Expelliarmus!_ ’

‘ _Finite._ ’ Sirius was adept at defence, not a single spell even came within three feet of him. It was no use, Remus couldn’t simply use spells he had only read about to get an edge over Sirius. ‘You musn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger,’ Sirius smirked. ‘Use something interesting, something clever rather than just using your wand to shoot colourful bullets at me.’ Sirius had an air or knowledge on this subject, masterfully honed by years of dueling Slytherins, mainly Snape, who could usually put up a decent fight, with his massive array or curses, when Sirius wasn’t accompanied by James and Peter. That's when Remus had an idea.

‘ _Expulso!_ ’

‘You do know that that spell doesn’t work on people right, Remus,’ Sirius said with a faint humor and concern for Remus’ magical knowledge. ‘Though, if you did want to make me explode, then I’m sure Snape could give you a curse that would -’

‘Timber.’ It took a few seconds for Sirius to process that what Remus had said wasn’t a spell. Then Remus said, ‘take about five steps to your right.’ Sirius did so with a puzzled look. At that moment he let out a shout of panic as the trunk of a tree fell besides him, where he had been stood only a moment ago.

‘Is “timber” a new spell nobody told me about that drops a bloody tree on somebody’s head?’ Sirius spoke quickly between muttered curses and Remus couldn’t help but laugh a little.

‘Of course not, Sirius,’ he said.

‘Then how the -’

‘But Expulso can blow up the base of a tree,’ Remus said with a wink.

‘That’s insane!’ Sirius shouted. ‘Absolutely insane! That could have hit me!’

‘And it would have if I didn’t intervene.’

‘Do you mean “intervene”? Telling me to move a second before it hit my head?’ Sirius gave a sort of nervous laugh. ‘Two near death experiences in twenty-four hours!’

‘It would have hit you long before then,’ Remus chuckled.

‘What do you -’

‘Arresto Momentum,’ he smirked. ‘Only wordless this time, I’m afraid. I still had my wand pointed towards the tree.’ Sirius was silent for a moment, processing the thought that Remus had dropped a tree on him, then paused the tree in mid air, wordlessly, told Sirius to move, and then let it drop.

‘You’ve bested me this time, Lupin,’ Sirius laughed, finally. Remus felt a sense of achievement rush through him, although he knew that he wouldn’t have thought to use a regular spell in a duel if it wasn’t for Sirius’ prompting.

Defensive spells were seeming equally as difficult as the standard offensive spells had been. Though Sirius didn’t quite have the hang of wordless magic, he was definitely almost there, as the only way Remus could anticipate spells was by lipreading whatever spell it was that Sirius was muttering under his breath.

‘Now just stop saying the spells,’ said Remus, still swiping away spells left, right and centre.

‘No offence, Remus,’ Sirius began, ‘but I don't really think you’re the one in the position to be giving me tips.’ He said, pausing for a second before returning to firing an armada of spells, muttering all of them under his breath.

‘You’re close you getting these spells wordless,’ Remus said, still attempting to hold up a slowly shattering shield spell. ‘These spells are first nature to you so you’ll barely feel a difference when you just stop saying them.’ Sirius paused for a second before whipping his wand a few times, only producing a few sparks.

‘I don’t think I can do it,’ Sirius confessed, hanging his head slightly.

‘You just need to visualise what you want the spell to do and mentally verbalise it,’ said Remus. He watched Sirius take a deep breath and, before he knew it, Sirius had wordlessly disarmed him and his wand was lying on the pebbled floor a few feet away. ‘I knew you could do it.’

‘Shut up,’ Sirius said, blushing. ‘You’re a good teacher, that's all.’ He turned, pointed his wand across the lake and took a deep breath. A moment later a magnitude of spells and hexes were flying from Sirius’ wand at an alarming pace. It seemed that the only thing limiting his speed was his need to incantate and now he was able to rapidly fire spells, more than a few per second.

‘I’d say we’ve had a rather successful afternoon,’ said Remus. He was panting a little and was sweating from being overworked. He pointed his wand towards the fallen tree and began a levitation charm, moving it out of the way, towards the edge of the forest.

‘I’d agree,’ said Sirius, wordlessly assisting Remus with the levitation of the tree.

 

*

 

The next day was spent similarly, with Sirius firing spells and prompting Remus to think outside the box. While Remus was thinking of more and more cunning ways to get the better of Sirius, even once using the water from the Black Lake to freeze Sirius’ legs, he was still lacking certain duling reflexes, being able to change instantly between offence and defence.

‘I don’t think I can keep up anymore, Sirius,’ said Remus. This wasn’t really a surprise to hear, since Sirius had began getting the hang of wordless spells, he had been able to fire spells and an unparalleled speed.

‘You sure?’ Sirius said, whipping a final hex in Remus’ direction. Remus had only just managed to deflect the hex, reflecting an orange ball of light across the lake.

‘Certain.’ Remus was utterly drenched in sweat and he looked as if his knees would give way at any moment. Sirius lowered his wand and walked over to the other boy, who had already dropped and was lying on his back, on the floor.

Reaching into the pocket of his jacket, Sirius said, ‘Remus, eat this,’ passing a small bar to him. Remus took it with a shaking hand and pulled it closer to his face.

‘Chocolate?’ He asked, running a finger down the paper and silvery foil. ‘I’m not really much of a fan, sorry.’ Sirius laughed at this.

‘This,’ he said, sitting down next to Remus’ limp body, ‘is Honeydukes chocolate. Nothing like whatever it is the muggles substitute for chocolate.’ Remus gave a fleeting shrug, feeling totally unable to move, let alone argue with Sirius. Slowly and with trepidation, he ripped the paper from the bar, carefully unfolded the foil and took a bite.

‘Good,’ said Remus simply, after some time.

‘I told you,’ Sirius smiled.

‘Tired.’ Remus had rolled over and his head was now on Sirius’ lap. As the boy’s head rested lazily, Sirius felt a sudden breathlessness, more than he had felt through the whole day’s worth of dueling. Remus’ head was heavy and, in all honesty, not the most comfortable thing in the world to have on his leg, but Sirius had no intention to ask him to move. Instead, Sirius involuntarily began to run his fingers through Remus’ soft hair. The hair was much softer than Sirius’ and straighter, making it easy for Sirius’ fingers to glide through it.

‘Do you have any plans for after the OWLs?’ The question had been weighing on Sirius’ mind since the first night Remus had stayed with them but he had put it to the back of his mind, as to almost forget that Remus would eventually leave.

‘I was planning to leave after the weekend the exams finish,’ Remus said, opening his eyes slightly to look at Sirius. ‘Why do you ask?’

‘It’s just -’ Sirius didn’t know how to phrase himself in a way that wouldn’t seem desperate or patronising. ‘I like having you around. I’ll miss you when you leave.’

‘I’ll miss you too,’ Remus said with a yawn. ‘You are my first actual friend.’ Sirius felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had friends, he had James and Peter and even Evans at a push, but Remus wasn’t just a friend to Sirius. To Sirius, Remus was so much more than any one friend he had, he had so many different qualities and talents and a perfect sense of humor and knew exactly what to say.

‘You don't have to - leave,’ Sirius mumbled. He knew that what he was suggesting wouldn’t become a reality, or else Remus would have already enrolled.

‘I don’t want to,’ Remus said, in an equally low mumble. He sat up and moved himself next to Sirius, hugging his knees and looking out over the Black Lake. ‘God knows I want to stay here.’

‘You can if you want,’ Sirius felt a spark inside him. Remus actually wanted to stay at Hogwarts! Surely there mustn't be anything drastic stopping him. ‘You could speak to McGonagall, even Dumbledore! You would be the top of every class! Maybe not Defence, but nobody’s perfect -’

‘Sirius, stop,’ Remus said in a low tone.

‘I’m sure if you told your parents how much you enjoyed it here, then you could enroll for sixth and seventh! You’re practically already a member of Gryffindor and -’

‘Sirius -’

‘You could stay here!’

‘Sirius!’ Sirius stopped for a moment, taking time to properly look at Remus. The boy’s face had become a light shade of red and there were tear trails down his cheeks.

‘Remus -’

‘Don’t you think I would stay here if I could!’ Remus’ voice shook. ‘Surrounded by people my own age and having friends, actual friends? Sirius, I could have real friends!’ His knees were also shaking. ‘But I can’t, Sirius! I can’t -’

Without forewarning or permission, Sirius had wrapped an arm around Remus’ shoulders and pulled him towards his chest. Remus’ whole body was shaking and Sirius could feel tears soak into his t-shirt. Whatever reason it was that was keeping Remus from attending Hogwarts, it must have been severe.

‘I’m sorry,’ Sirius said. Remus didn’t reply verbally but he did sigh loudly into Sirius’ chest before wiping his face with the sleeve of his own t-shirt and taking a few deep breaths. ‘You don’t need to tell me the reason. I imagine if it’s affecting you this much then it must be private.

‘Thanks. It’s just - personal,’ said Remus, sniffling. It was obvious that crying wasn’t natural to Remus by the amount of rubbing his eyes he was doing.

‘Your face clears up faster if you just leave it and breath,’ Sirius said. He had experience with crying to himself at night whenever he felt isolated or received particularly hate filled letters from his family. Learning how to cover up the signs of crying had become useful for him, James and Peter had no idea what he was really going through in his head and he wanted it to stay that way.

‘Thanks,’ said Remus, again. He had stood up and began to pace slowly at the edge of the lake, swinging his arms by his side and breathing deeply. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said after some time. ‘You shouldn’t have had to see me like that. I’m not sure what came over me.’

‘Don’t be sorry, Remus,’ Sirius said, standing. ‘I may not know exactly what it is that you’re going through but I’m here for you. You know that, right? We’re friends.’

 

*

 

Remus’ face looked less blotchy as they walked up to the castle, leaving only a slight redness around his eyes. The sun was beginning to fall in the sky, the owls had begun to return to the owlery and drabs of students were returning to the castle ahead of Sirius and Remus, who were walking back across the bridge.

‘There's that boy Snape shredded to pieces the other day, cousin,’ came a cold and high pitched voice from behind the boys. Turning, Sirius could see the familiar figure of Bellatrix Black. She was swaying along the bridge just behind them, approaching them.

‘Don’t call me cousin,’ Sirius said in growl. Bellatrix looked at him and laugh.

‘Not you, little Siri,’ she smirked. ‘I was talking to Regulus.’ Sirius had not noticed but, just behind Bellatrix stood his brother and Rodolphus Lestrange.

‘You shouldn’t hang around with them, Regs,’ Sirius said, more softly. Somewhere inside him, he still felt a connection to his brother that he didn’t share with any other of his family besides Bellatrix’s older sister, Andromeda, who had recently been disowned by the house of Black. ‘You don't belong with them.’

‘So I belong with you and the half-blood?’ Regulus was looking towards Sirius and Remus but had restrained from making eye contact with Sirius. ‘You abandoned us - abandoned me.’

‘Sirius, I think we should leave,’ Remus muttered, fearfully moving his hand towards his wand as he knew Bellatrix could be unpredictable. Sirius’ hand was shaking with anger.

‘Your brother was just helping Rodolphus and I send out wedding invitations,’ Bellatrix said in her sinisterly sweet and high pitched tone. She was leaning against the edge of the bridge. ‘He’s been ever so helpful recently. He’s been so _supportive_ of our _cause_.’ She was speaking in a way that they would all understand except Remus, who looked puzzled. To ensure Sirius knew what she was talking about, she subtly lifted the sleeve of her blouse, revealing a black tattoo.

‘Regulus isn’t _supporting_ any _cause_ of yours!’ Sirius spat. Before he knew it he had pointed his wand at Bellatrix, who was still perched precariously on the edge of the bridge.

‘ _Expelliarmus._ ’ Regulus had unexpectedly disarmed Sirius, his wand falling a couple of feet behind him.

‘Unusual behaviour for someone who doesn’t support this cause,’ Bellatrix laughed. Sirius felt his blood run cold like ice. Had Regulus really just sided with Bellatrix? With another flick of Regulus’ wand, Sirius flew backwards, almost over the edge of the bridge.

‘Are you trying to fucking kill me!’ Sirius shouted, his icy blood pulsing at an alarming rate. ‘Do you really want to kill me?’

‘Of course not,’ said Regulus. Sirius took a deep sigh of relief. Perhaps his brother had’t sided with Bellatrix just yet?

‘I knew you weren’t -’

‘I want you to jump.’ Regulus’ voice was cold and emotionless, there was no hint of remorse in what he had said.

‘Regulus -’ Sirius didn’t have enough time to think or feel anything before his inner monologue was hijacked.

‘ _Imperio!_ ’ Bellatrix shouted, her wand pointed towards Sirius like a dagger. ‘Is this what you want, Regulus? It can be as easy as this.’

‘I - I -’ Regulus’ eyes had widened and he went pale.

‘I could kill him,’ Bellatrix said, eying Regulus, her wand still directed at Sirius. ‘Just a flick of my wrist and -’ Before she could finish her sentence, her wand had been hit out of her hand and flew over the edge of the bridge. Sirius felt a sense of control return to his body and backed away from the edge. Under the imperius curse he had been unable to move his head but now he could see Remus’ wand pointed towards Bellatrix.

‘Sirius, we need to run!’ Remus said, backing away with his wand still pointed towards Bellatrix. Sirius stumbled backwards, picking up his own wand from the floor.

‘DIRTY HALF-BLOOD!’ Bellatrix was screaming and coming towards them with a knife that she had pulled from her boot.

‘ _Expulso!_ ’ Remus pointed his wand towards the floor and a section of bridge collapsed between the two boys and Bellatrix, Regulus and Rodolphus. The two boys turned and ran towards the castle, dodging hexes and curses fired by Regulus and Rodolphus.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly really loved writing this chapter and I'd love to know what you guys think in the comments! Hope you enjoyed


	10. His Tallest Tower (Two)

Neither of the two spoke as they ran up to the Gryffindor common rooms, partially because they were totally out of breath, but also because they had no idea how to summarise what had just happened. It had all been so fast, one minute they were crossing the bridge, then Bellatrix started on them, then Sirius was under the imperius curse, then Remus was blowing up a bridge and then they were running through the castle. Once they were in the dormitory they took a few minutes to catch their breath. 

‘Get caught doing something by Filch?’ James said, taking his head out of a Quidditch magazine. 

‘No, we just -’ Remus was panting as he spoke until he was interrupted by Sirius. 

‘We just fancied a race,’ Sirius said with a dead expression. 

‘Oh, well who won?’ James asked. 

‘He did,’ Sirius lied. Remus wasn’t sure why Sirius was lying to who was probably his closest friend. Surely James would have known about Sirius’ insane cousin and how evil she was? James went back to his magazine and Remus moved to sit next to Sirius on his bed. 

‘Is there any reason we’re not telling James what just happened?’ Remus asked. In his mind, friends would tell each other everything, but then again, Remus had only been introduced to the concept of friendship less than a week ago. 

‘He just - doesn’t need to know,’ said Sirius. His voice was unusually low and he was even behaving strangely, not smiling at all. The only other times Remus had seen Sirius not smiling were when he was covered in blood on a bathroom floor and again after Sirius almost fell to his death. ‘He’ll just worry about me.’ 

‘Maybe he would be right to worry,’ said Remus, still quiet enough so that James couldn’t hear them. ‘What happened on the bridge was insane! She even used an unforgivable curse on you! If someone used an unforgivable curse on me then I would want to have something happen to them. She shouldn’t be allowed in this school!’ Remus’ voice was straining to stay quiet. 

‘She’s used an unforgivable curse on you before but you didn’t inform the school,’ Sirius shot back. Remus didn’t like this defensive side of Sirius, he wasn’t the same to talk to. 

‘She never used the imperius curse on me,’ Remus said, going over today’s events in his mind. 

‘No but she used the cruciatus curse on you,’ he said. ‘Before Snape attacked you when she shot a red spell at you and all you felt was the pain. Believe me, I know the cruciatus curse.’ He shifted his gaze as he finished his sentence. 

‘What do you mean? Have you used it before? Has she used it on you?’ Remus said worriedly. 

‘Stop asking questions, Remus. I just want some time to think.’ Sirius rolled over on his bed, ending the conversation. Remus didn’t know what to think. To save face, he went back over to his own bed and back to his copy of Nineteen Eighty-Four, he had just got up to a part which was describing torture. He thought to himself, I wonder what the Thought Police would have done if they could threaten people with the cruciatus curse? Or better yet, if Big Brother could use the imperius curse? Thinking about the unforgivable curses had become much more uncomfortable since he had witnessed one and had been on the receiving end of another. It must have been the amount of thinking Remus had been doing that drained all the energy from him as, before he knew it, he was asleep on his bed. 

 

Remus was stood on the bridge where he had been attacked with Sirius today, the collapsed section from his expulso spell was still there. Ahead of him was a figure, kneeling on the edge of the fallen section and attempting to reach to the other side of the bridge. Remus found that he was walking towards the figure, who became panicked and restless. As he got closer to the figure, he could make out the wild black hair and porcelain skin, it was Bellatrix. 

‘Please! I’m sorry!’ Bellatrix was screaming, turning to Remus and begging on her knees. ‘I’m so sorry!’ Remus looked down towards his feet and found that they were large, clawed paws. 

‘ _ Lies _ ,’ said Remus, he could hear Snape in his voice. Bellatrix began pleading and crying. 

‘Please!’ She screamed. He looked down at his werewolf claws. 

‘ _ Just a flick of my wrist and _ -’ Bellatrix had interrupted him with more scream. He could hear her voice in what he had just said. 

‘Do you really want to kill me!’ The tears were pouring down her face. 

‘ _ Of course not _ ,’ Remus said, this time Regulus was in his voice. 

‘I’ll do anything you want! Anything, name it!’ She smiled through tears, getting to her feet. 

‘ _ I want you to jump _ .’ Remus’ voice had no emotion. Bellatrix made no scream as her she stopped backward, through the section of the bridge that Remus had blown up earlier that day. 

‘Wait!’ Remus felt himself return, the paws and claws disappearing. ‘Bellatrix! Stop!  _ Arresto Momentum! _ ’ Nothing he did stopped Bellatrix from falling backward through the hole. 

‘Remus!’ 

‘Bellatrix! No!’ 

‘Remus! Remus!’ 

 

‘Remus!’ Remus woke to James shaking his shoulders. The world of the bridge and Bellatrix’s suicide slowly faded from reality and he found himself in his bed. 

‘James?’ Remus rubbed his eyes and sat up. The night sky was dark outside and the room was now candlelit. 

‘Sirius is missing!’ James continued to shake Remus. 

‘What?’ 

‘He’s gone!’ James was clearly distressed. His face was red and his carefree, boyish attitude was nowhere to be found. 

‘Where did he go?’ Remus was still trying to get the thought of the nightmare out of his mind. The mental image of Bellatrix crying on the floor and then stepping backward off the ledge, screaming Remus’ name like bloody murder. 

‘If I knew where he was then I wouldn’t be asking you,’ said James. He had begun to pace the short length of the room. ‘I knew something was up with him today when he came back with you! What happened? Tell me!’ 

‘Sirius told me not to,’ said Remus, feeling at conflict with his current concern with where Sirius was and with the trust Sirius had in him not to say anything to James. 

‘Remus, tell me what happened today or, so help me god -’ James looked more frightening than Bellatrix, Snape and Lestrange combined right now. 

‘Ok, ok!’ Remus had to shout to be heard over James. It was truly astonishing that both Peter and Frank seemed able to sleep through this. ‘It was Bellatrix. We ran into her on the bridge at the entrance to the school, by the Black Lake.’ 

‘Something else must have happened,’ said James, as if to be unsurprised. ‘If it was just that then he would be fine.’ 

‘Well, she used the imperius curse on him. I mean, he didn’t do anything but -’ 

‘There must have been something more.’ Remus was almost shocked. He had just told James that Sirius had undergone the imperius curse and apparently that wouldn’t be enough to get to Sirius? 

‘His brother told him to jump off a bridge if that’s worse somehow?’ 

‘Regulus said that?’ James was instantly on this, staring into Remus’ soul for more details. ‘Remus, Regulus is the only family member that Sirius actually cares about.’ Suddenly Remus realised how little he really knew about Sirius. Were his family issues that dire? Remus knew that the ancient house of Black had some dark members but he didn’t think that Sirius could hate all of them. 

‘I think I know where Sirius went,’ said Remus, now understanding the severity of what Regulus’ comment had really meant. James dived into his trunk for a moment and reemerged with what looked to be a silvery blanket. 

‘Take this, find him and bring him back,’ James said, handing him the sheet. ‘I haven’t had a chance to speak to Sirius very often recently so I don’t think he’ll really want me coming for him.’ Remus nodded and took the cloak. 

 

*

 

Sirius dropped another cigarette end off the edge of the Astronomy tower. Without the handrail in his way, he could sit with his legs hanging out of the tower. The half moon lit the tower well, the night breeze was in the perfect direction to blow away his cigarette smoke and the courtyard below made a great ashtray. 

Sirius thought to himself, did Regulus really mean what he said when he told him to jump? Did he really want Sirius to drop to his death? Bellatrix’s use of the imperius curse hadn’t been surprising in the slightest, she wouldn’t have dared try if she was inside the castle, under Dumbledore’s watch, but the bridge seemed far enough away for Bellatrix to justify the curse. What shook Sirius the most was the haunting thought that Regulus may have really joined the Death Eaters, Tom Riddle’s blood-purist cult. Even just from being at home for the last summer, Sirius knew that they were dark because his parents had been praising their work and hinting at Sirius and his brother to join them. 

‘Sirius,’ came a voice from behind him. The voice was purposefully loud enough as to attract his attention but not so loud as to make him startle and fall from the ledge. From the warm, Northern undertones, he knew that it was Remus. Looking back, he saw the boy pull James’ invisibility cloak off himself. 

‘So Potter sent you?’ Sirius knew that his tone was unnecessarily aggressive but continued regardless. 

‘Since when did you start calling your friends by their surnames?’ Remus said with a smile, sitting next to Sirius on the ledge. 

‘Since they decided to send someone to come talk to me rather than deciding to come themselves,’ he said, bitterly. ‘I bet he’s too busy fucking Worthington to -’ 

‘He knew that you were annoyed at him for not spending more time with you so I sent me as to not annoy you any more.’ Remus interrupted. 

‘Only took him three months to notice,’ said Sirius, lighting himself another cigarette with the tip of his wand. ‘Want one?’ 

‘Sure, I’ve never tried but there must be something to it to justify them being so popular with muggles,’ said Remus, taking a drag. Sirius was actually surprised at how Remus didn’t cough on his first drag. 

‘I’m not going to jump,’ said Sirius, ‘if you were worried.’ 

‘I wasn’t worried.’ Remus balanced his cigarette between his middle and index fingers. ‘I would just catch you again if you fell anyway,’ he joked. Sirius felt his heart tug. Even in this moment, Remus managed to remain himself, cute and concerned. They were quiet for a while before Sirius spoke again. 

‘I hate my family,’ said Sirius, plainly. 

‘Except Regulus?’ Remus must have known he was broaching a touchy subject because his voice rose as he spoke. 

‘Except Regulus,’ Sirius confirmed, taking another long drag on his cigarette. ‘Regulus is just confused, he doesn’t know what he's getting himself into. Bellatrix on this other hand - she’s just a psychopath.’ 

‘I’m beginning to see that now,’ Remus laughed, making Sirius laugh. 

‘My parents are just as bad,’ Sirius went on. ‘I said I knew the cruciatus earlier. That’s because it’s my father’s favourite choice of disciplinary punishment.’ 

‘Shit,’ said Remus, bluntly. He took another drag. 

‘What are your parents like?’ Sirius said, staring into space and fantasizing about a life with a happy home to go to. 

‘They’re nice, they try their hardest and do what they think is best for me.’ Sirius was about to say something but Remus continued. ‘But they look at me like I’m some broken thing. Like I’m so close to being perfect that if they just -’ He stopped. ‘Sorry.’ 

‘You are perfect,’ said Sirius, taking a final drab before watching his cigarette slowly burn out. 

‘Believe me, if you knew then you wouldn’t think that,’ Remus mumbled. ‘You wouldn’t want to know me.’ 

‘You can tell me anything, Remus,’ Sirius threw his cigarette stub off the tower and put a friendly hand on Remus’ leg. 

‘I can’t,’ Remus said simply. 

‘Why not?’ Sirius felt a sinking feeling inside. He had no idea what it could be that would cause Remus any issue. Remus was smart, funny, friendly and kind. 

‘If I told you - you wouldn’t look at me the same way.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back??? It me ;D
> 
> Sorry for not updating in so long, life's been hectic lol. 
> 
> Make sure to give comment to tell me if you're still enjoying yourself :) I love reading what you guys think and replying to everyone!


	11. Cunning Curses

With one week left before the OWLs, Hogwarts had become a more quiet but tense place to be and even Remus could feel that. The Great Hall felt even fuller than it had the previous days, with each student coming down for breakfast first thing in the morning so that they could spend a full day studying and revising. 

Remus and Sirius didn’t speak about the previous night over breakfast that morning, but they did maintain the usual light conversation they had both grown to love. It was mid-way through a conversation about something Remus had read about in  _ Hogwarts: A History _ , an event called the Tri-Wizard Tournament, that they were interrupted. 

‘I wish they still had it. I would definitely throw my name in the Cup of Stuff,’ Sirius said, stabbing at a piece of bacon on his plate. 

‘It’s called the Goblet of Fire. And anyway, they stopped it because the death toll became -’ 

‘I HATE YOU! JAMIE POTTER!’ A familiar, high pitched and screechy voice echoed through the hall causing most people to stop and look towards the end of the Gryffindor table. The voice was similar to Bellatrix’s in a way, except this voice was girlier and lacked any sinister edge. 

‘Emma, why don’t you calm down and we can -’ James was sat across from his girlfriend, making every possible gesture to her to calm herself. 

‘WHY DID YOU KISS HER?!’ She began crying loudly as she screamed. ‘WHAT DOES SHE HAVE WHAT I DON’T!?’ 

‘Emma, maybe you should keep your voice -’ James couldn’t be heard over her wails. The whole of the school was staring at the situation like witnesses to a car crash, Gryffindors and Slytherins alike, all watching with uneasy expressions. 

‘This can’t be good,’ Remus muttered, looking as shocked as the rest of the school. ‘I wonder what he did?’ 

‘It’s about time,’ Sirius said, chewing bacon and, what looked to be, attempting to hide a grin on his face. Sirius must have been the only person in the Great Hall to have continued eating, taking no interest in watching the events unfurl at the far end of the room. It was then that Lily slipped into the hall and sat with Remus and Sirius, who were sat by the entrance. Like a bloodhound finding a scent, Worthington took her head out of her hands, silenced her sobs and stared dead down to the opposite end of the Gryffindor table. 

‘WHORE!’ Worthington screamed, her wand pointed directly at Lily. Without hesitation, Lily bolted out of her seat and shot out of the hall, muttering the word “shit” repeatedly under her breath. Worthington tore her way down the hall and out of the great mahogany doors, screaming at the top of her lungs, only seconds behind Lily. As soon as the girl had left the room, all eyes returned to James, who was sat alone now and blushing scarlet. 

‘Should we go over there and speak to him?’ Remus asked at a normal volume, which seemed much louder in the silence of the room. 

‘Just - let me savour this moment,’ said Sirius, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. At that instant, the school broke out into excited conversation, all speculating on what James Potter had done and how it implicated Lily Evans, who could seemingly do no wrong. ‘Okay, let’s go.’ 

Making their way across the room was easier said than done. The students had become excitable and were blocking up the walkways between the tables. When the pair finally reached James, he was faced down on the table with his head in his arms. Not knowing exactly what to say, Remus just sat next to the boy and patted him on the back while Sirius helped himself to more toast and bacon. 

‘Are you alright, James?’ Remus asked with genuine concern. 

‘Of course he is! He’s finally got rid of Worthington!’ Sirius beamed, his mouth half full of food. 

‘Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you, Remus,’ James said, totally blocking Sirius’ comment. 

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Remus said, still patting his back. 

‘I really want to know who you’ve been playing tonsil tennis with,’ Sirius commented. ‘And why did call Evans a whore? I don't think that girl would know sex if it hit her in the face.’ Remus attempted not to visualise that. 

‘Not right now but thank you, Remus.’ James’ head was still in on the table. 

‘Come on, Jimmy,’ Sirius said, poking James in the ribs. ‘We’ll be late for defence if you don't move.’ 

‘I’m not going,’ said James. 

‘What?!’ Sirius took a step back in shock. ‘But - but today is the practical day! It's the only time when we actually get rewarded for dueling Snivellus!’ 

‘Don't care. Not going.’ James’ word was final. 

‘James, please! It’s no fun by myself.’ Sirius groaned, tugging on the sleeve of James’ cloak like a spoilt child. 

‘I’ll come with you,’ Remus muttered, looking up at Sirius but still patting James’ back. 

‘Please James! It’ll be fun and I’ll even - wait, what?’ Sirius stopped tugging James’ sleeve. 

‘Professor McGonagall told me that I can attend some classes to help me revise, if I wanted to,’ said Remus. Sirius’ eyes widened and the corner of his lip curled upward. Remus loved to see Sirius smile and he didn’t realise that he could achieve a smile by simply offering to attend a class with him. 

‘Please just get Sirius away from me,’ James groaned. 

‘Rude,’ Sirius said, knocking the back of his friend’s head. ‘Anyway, Remus, I believe we have a lesson to attend.’ 

 

*

 

Remus felt a buzz as he walked through the door of the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. He had always imagined what sitting through a lesson must be like, being able to learn with others and ask an experienced adult questions on the subject. This particular lesson was more alien to Remus than what he had imagined. The tables had been pushed to the edges of the room and Professor Mayer was reading a dueling magazine. When the nine o’clock bell rang she stood up and the Gryffindor and Slytherin class turned to look towards her. 

‘As you all know, there is a practical element to your Defence Against the Dark Arts exam and I expect none of you to fail me,’ she said in a stern and commanding voice. ‘Split into pairs and practice disarming one another. We’ll finish the lesson later with some dueling.’ Her eyes lit at the word dueling. As instructed, the students coupled up and set to work on their practicing. 

‘She used to have a reputation for firing the fastest curses the European dueling scene had ever seen,’ Sirius said, raising his wand towards Remus. 

‘Does she make you duel often?’ Remus asked. He was trying his hardest to keep up with Sirius’ new found pace for firing spells, he almost regretted teaching him wordless magic for a moment. 

‘As often as she can,’ Sirius said, changing to shield spells. ‘But we’re pretty sure she’s getting the sack for agreeing to duel some seventh years. She did leave them in the hospital wing for a fortnight, in fairness.’ Remus didn’t speak as much for the rest of the lesson, he wanted to try his hardest to impress this famous professor. 

‘You don’t need to wear yourself out so much,’ Sirius said, after some time. ‘I don't even think she’s noticed that you’re here.’ 

‘You’re probably right,’ Remus sighed, sweating. Luckily for him, he had decided to wear a black cardigan with his shirt so the sweat under his arms was less noticeable than it could have been. 

‘Now, class!’ Professor Mayer was shouting, she had only just put her magazine back down. ‘There will be enough time for one duel. Do we have any volunteers?’ Sirius’ hand immediately shot up. 

‘You boy,’ she said. Remus assumed that she meant Sirius but when she pointed dead at Remus, he knew he was mistaken. ‘I don’t recall your name but you shall take part in a duel.’

‘My name’s Remus, but I don't want to-’ Remus stuttered. 

‘I volunteer,’ said a nasally voice. Remus could just about recall the timbre of the voice in his mind. 

‘Snake? I don’t believe you’ve volunteered so far this year.’

‘Snape, Professor.’ Severus Snape had taken a step forward. 

‘Alright. Snape and Robert will duel. Stand aside class!’ The woman shouted. 

‘My name’s -’ Remus didn’t have a chance to correct her before he found himself in the middle of the room with Snape, surrounded by students. Sirius was among the small crowd, he had a concerned smile on his face. Without warning, Remus had been knocked to the floor by a forceful spell. The room gave a collective ‘Ouch’. 

‘Am I not interesting enough to warrant your attention? Or are you just more interested in Black’s face?’ Snape hissed, then muttered something that sounded oddly like ‘faggot’. Remus felt a rush of anger. Though he wasn’t gay himself, not fully anyway, he hated the fact that someone as disgusting as Snape could ever insult someone like that. Remus pushed himself onto his feet and pointed his wand towards the greasy haired boy. 

‘ _ Expelliarmus! _ ’ Remus shouted. Snape simply swiped his wand and the disarming spell dissipated. 

‘You’ll have to try harder than that,’ Snape shot, muttering his next spell. ‘ _ Confringo. _ ’ 

‘ _ Protago! _ ’ Remus had used a shield spell, but it still wasn’t enough to fully block out dark magic like the blasting curse. That was the problem with curses, they were too powerful for even the quickest protection spell, all that energy couldn’t just disappear. 

‘That greasy twat’s using curses!’ Sirius had shouted among the spectators. 

‘Quiet, Blake!’ Mayer shouted back at Sirius. They all knew that Mayer had a soft spot for curses, which is what made Slytherins her favourite students. 

‘ _ Reducto! _ ’ Snape fired another curse in Remus’ direction. Even with another shield spell, Remus was knocked back onto the floor. He had to think more tactically. In this mind, he shouted  _ Stupefy!  _ and pointed his wand at Snape, who easily shielded himself from the stunning charm. 

‘You’re boring me,’ Snape sneered, then curled his lip into a sinister smile. ‘Maybe I should use the spell I used on you when we first met?’ Remus let instantly cold. Could Severus really use that cutting spell again? That “Sectumsempra”? In a class, surrounded by people. Snape raised his wand and began an incantation. Subconsciously, Remus raised his wand and prayed for help. 

‘ _ Levicorpus! _ ’ Snape shouted. Remus knew it wasn’t the same spell as before but he still felt scared and vulnerable. An instant before the spell hit, it was blocked by a wall of white light and Remus was temporarily blinded. 

Remus could hear a noise - laughter. When he opened his eyes, he saw Snape, seemingly hanging by his ankles in mid air. There was hardly an explanation for this, Remus didn’t cast anything, not knowingly anyway, he wouldn’t even know what that spell was. Before he could even think, Sirius had an arm around him and was laughing along with the Gryffindors, and even some Slytherins. 

‘I knew you could get the better of Snivellus!’ Sirius was beaming. 

‘Congratulations. I didn't recognise that spell,’ came Mayer’s voice, with a respectful tone. 

‘Thanks but I really didn’t -’ Remus was still in shock, still not understanding how Snape had been levitated upside down, into the air. 

‘What did you say your name was again?’ Mayer asked. Before he had a chance to answer, a voice echoed through the room, silencing the students. 

‘Sirius Black. Here,’ McGonagall said, coldly. ‘You too, Mr. Lupin.’ 

 

*

 

The walk from the Defence classroom was long but Remus’ mind was occupied with attempting to work out just what had happened during that duel. One moment Snape was about to fire a spell and then the next moment there was a bright light and Snape was hanging upside down. There were no valid explanations coming to his mind, nothing that could explain something so odd. 

McGonagall’s office was decorated formally with Gryffindor plaques and portraits of witches and wizards, all famed in the art of transfiguration. The professor had led them in and was now sat thin-lipped behind her desk, arms crossed. After Remus and Sirius had taken their seats in front of the desk, the three of them sat in a dense silence, the atmosphere of the room filled only with McGonagall’s piercing gaze. 

‘Mr. Black,’ she spoke slowly in a way that terrified both boys before her. The witch’s voice was low but sharp. ‘The bridge.’ 

‘Professor, I can explain -’ Sirius began but McGonagall raised a finger to silence him. 

‘Choose your next words very wisely, Sirius Black. If I deem your explanation for this incident to be insufficient then I will not hesitate in expelling you,’ she spat. 

The usual carefree, chatterbox Sirius was nowhere to be found. Remus dared to shift a glance over to his friend and saw him white as a sheet and silent as the grave. 

‘Mr. Black, you have three seconds to explain why you blew up the entrance bridge or, so help me God -’ 

‘It was me, Professor,’ Remus’ voice cracked as he spoke and he could hear a relieved yet shocked sigh come from Sirius. 

‘Mr. Lupin?’ McGonagall’s voice shot up an octave and her eyes widened in disbelief. ‘What is the meaning of this?’ 

‘I was making a spell, Professor,’ Remus said, stumbling on his muttered words. 

‘Deliberately performing a spell to vandalise the bridge?’ She remained shocked but more angered now. 

‘No Professor, I was trying to create a spell,’ Remus said this with more confidence. There was something about being a werewolf that made him a good liar, the necessity to lie to those close to you on a constant basis. 

‘Mr. Lupin?’ McGonagall’s voice raised another octave and she stood up placing her hands on the desk as if to grasp more control over what she was hearing. Sirius looked shocked also, he too was staring at Remus, his mouth agape. 

‘When the spell backfired and broke the bridge I panicked and asked Sirius not to tell anyone because I was scared I’d be told to leave the school before the OWLs have even started.’ Remus had even surprised himself at his ability to lie under stress like this. 

‘Mr. Lupin - Remus,’ McGonagall faltered in her speech, her expression dazed. ‘Spellcrafting is not a leisurely past-time to be taken lightly, there's a reason we don’t teach it in depth at Hogwarts.’ The witch took her eyes of the two boys and paced to the other side of the office, wringing her hands and looking out of the window, towards the grounds. 

‘I’m sorry, Professor,’ Remus was taken aback, he wasn’t expecting such a response from his lie. Perhaps at this point, it would be easier to tell McGonagall the truth, that he had just used a common exploding spell to aid in escaping the psychotic Bellatrix Black. No, Sirius didn’t want anyone to find out what happened there and Remus was not going to betray his new friend like that. 

‘Sorry? You’re sorry, Mr. Lupin?’ McGonagall turned to look back at them, looking paler than before but still less pale than Sirius at this time. ‘Remus, you could have died using that sort of experimental magic.’ 

‘Professor -’ Sirius stuttered, presumably seeing that this excuse had gone too far and felt the need to expose the truth, or his own version of the truth, on what had really happened. 

‘Mr. Black, please stand outside. I need to speak to Mr. Lupin in private,’ McGonagall spoke without even looking at the boy. 

‘But Prof -’ 

‘Now, Black!’ The witch pointed to the door, still staring at Remus. Reluctantly, Sirius did stand and exit the office, leaving Remus and the Deputy Headmistress alone. 

‘I’m sorry, Professor. I didn’t think -’ Remus began. 

‘Precisely, Mr. Lupin. You didn’t think,’ McGonagall stressed her voice in a different way than she had done earlier, this was a voice of dire concern. ‘A section of a bridge collapsing endangers students but a sixteen-year-old spellcrafting like this is far more dangerous.’

‘I’m sorry, Professor. I didn’t know how dangerous it was. I won't do it again,’ Remus said, though his anxiety felt undeserved since he’d never actually attempted spellcrafting in his life. 

‘Tell me, Lupin. For a spell to backfire that strongly, you must have been tampering with powerful magic.’ Her lips went thin again. ‘What were you attempting to do?’ 

‘I was just trying to -’ His mind went blank. This was going to be the point where McGonagall would realise he was bluffing to protect Sirius, unless he could think of something fast. Remus raced through his thoughts to conceive of a spell that he may have wanted to create - and that was when he thought back to his duel with Snape only an hour previous. ‘I was trying to rebound curses.’ 

‘Mr. Lupin, that is - dark magic indeed.’ She took a few deep breaths before continuing. ‘You know as well as I that only charms can be rebounded and that curses must be blocked or avoided altogether.’ 

‘Of course, Professor,’ he nodded. 

‘Now, as practical as this - “rebound curse” may have been, I would like you to abandon this project of yours, do you understand me?’ She tilted her head as she spoke so that her piercing gaze could only just be seen from under the brim of her hat. 

‘Yes, Professor.’ He nodded again and her brittle expression faded. 

‘Dumbledore told me that he expects great things from you, Mr. Lupin.’ She smiled now, moving from her desk to the corner of her office where she began to brew herself tea. ‘You’re free to go.’ 

‘Thank you, Professor,’ Remus said with a relieved sigh. Just before he reached the door McGonagall spoke again, more casually this time, not even looking up from her tea. 

‘Although, I did notice that original spell you used while dueling Mr. Snape, before I took you from the class,’ Remus’ blood ran cold. ‘But I don't think a harmless jinx to levitate someone upside down will pose too much threat to the students here. With a crafted spell like that under your belt, you may do well learning more on the subject outside Hogwarts.’

‘Thank you, Professor,’ he said again, forcing a fake smile to mask the unnerving feeling he was experiencing. 

 

*

 

‘I just overheard that last part. She seems fine now, happy even!’ Sirius had been waiting for him just outside the door. ‘I can’t believe you managed to get us out of that mess!’ Sirius was smiling and literally giddy at the fact he wasn't facing an expulsion from Hogwarts but as soon as Remus closed McGonagall’s office door his facial expression dropped. 

‘Snape’s creating his own spells.’ Remus spoke quietly so that only Sirius would be able to hear him as there were other students dotted about the corridor. 

‘Wait - what?’ Sirius’ giddy grin fell to mirror Remus’ expression. 

‘McGonagall said that whatever jinx or curse Snape uses to hang people upside down is a result of spellcrafting.  _ Levicorpus _ Snape’s own creation,’ said Remus, just about managing to remember the incantation Snape used back in the duel earlier that day. 

‘But, Remus, you were the one who used that spell on Snape today,’ said Sirius with some confusion. The two of them were speaking in hushed voices as they paced their way up towards the Gryffindor common rooms. 

‘No, I never even worked out what that spell really was until now,’ Remus confessed. ‘I think I managed to rebound it.’ Remus was now taking a whole new perspective on what had happened during the duel. Maybe his excuse of spellcrafting to McGonagall was a subconscious thought in his mind that maybe that’s how he won the duel. 

‘Remus, what are you even talking about? You can’t rebound something like that,’ Sirius said, panting slightly as they climbed through the portrait hole of the Fat Lady. 

‘I think what I did today in the duel was some sort of original spell. I’m not sure what any of this means yet but I’m going to figure everything out,’ Remus assured him as they entered the dorm. James was lying face down on the bed as they walked in, wrapped in layers of blanket and groaning at the prospect of his friend’s arrival. 

‘Done anything with yourself this morning?’ Sirius asked. Remus was too busy to get involved in conversation, rooting through his trunk for NEWT and post-NEWT level books that could have mentions of spellcrafting. 

‘Ughh,’ was James’ only response. 

‘Want some firewhiskey and chocolate to make you feel better?’ 

‘Yes. Please.’ Sirius smiled triumphantly, a night of drinking and tasteful banter would be the first step in mending the brotherly bonds between James and himself. 

‘Sirius, are you sure that’s a good idea?’ Remus asked, still searching his trunk for the right books. ‘I mean - is alcohol really the best thing to give a teenager who’s going through a breakup? It just seems a little sad.’ 

‘Excuse me, Mr. Lupin. “Sad” would be Jimmy here drinking alone so it’s a good thing he has friends such as ourselves to drink with him.’ Sirius smirked. 

‘Really? It’s only just gone midday!’ Remus protested, finally picking three books out of his trunk and placing them on the table next to his bed. 

‘Jee, Remus. I thought you were cool,’ James grunted, but it was clear to Sirius that James was only pushing the new boy’s buttons a little. Sirius laughed, pulling a bottle out from underneath his bed. 

‘I’m cool -’ Remus stuttered. ‘I mean - pass me the bottle.’

‘Remus, I was only kidding, you don't have to -’ Before James could even finish his sentence, Remus had taken the firewhiskey from Sirius and was taking a long gulp. Once he’d swallowed enough, he handed the bottle back to Sirius and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. 

‘I’m sorry, James. You were saying something?’ Remus raised eyebrow as he spoke, only making Sirius laugh even harder. 

 

*

 

The three boys skipped dinner that night, instead relying on Sirius’ stash of sweets and chocolate for sustenance. Sirius was enjoying himself more than usual, feeling that he finally had his friend back from the evil clutches of Emma Worthington. It actually took hours for the conversation to reach the topic of James’ break up, by this time it was dark outside and Peter had gone to sleep; Frank still spending full nights making up for lost time with Alice, God knows where.  

‘So how does it feel to finally be a free man again?’ Sirius giggled. He’d been giggling for the past half hour, something probably caused by an expired Grinning Gumdrop he’d eaten earlier. 

‘I’d feel a lot freer if I didn’t have the weight of the entire school’s judgement,’ James said, swaying on the edge of his bed. 

‘Do you mean - when Worthington called you out - for kissing some other girl - this morning at breakfast - in front of the whole school?’ Remus slurred. He’d probably drank as much as both James and Sirius combined and was holding it rather well considering. 

‘Yes, Remus,’ James groaned. ‘Thank you for reminding me.’ 

‘You’re welcome,’ Remus said cheerfully, taking no account of the sarcastic tone James had spoken in. 

‘And then she called Evans - what was it? “WHORE”!’ Sirius was almost crying with laughter and at this point, it was hard to tell if the laugh was genuine or a result of out-of-date charmed sweets. 

‘Sirius, shut up,’ said James, his voice lowering. 

‘Wait. Did you - and Evans actually - kiss?’ Remus slurred again. 

‘No,’ James shot. ‘Evans and I were studying Potions together and Emma blew it way out of proportion.’ 

‘Sureeee,’ Sirius laughed, rolling back onto his bed. ‘I think I’ll call it a night.’

‘Me too,’ said James. He also rolled back onto his bed, blowing out a candle beside him. 

‘Goodnight,’ said Remus, still stumbling on his words and stumbling into his bed. ‘Love you both.’ Sirius’ heart almost stopped. He knew that Remus was just very drunk and that the boy was just being overly friendly - but Remus had said that he loved him, and James but that was beside the point. 

‘Shut up, Lupin.’ James laughed and rolled over in his bed but all Sirius could do was think about Remus and whether his drunken words held any true meaning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a longer chapter this time and more story-line based than purely fluff. I want to try writing something a little different than many of the other fictions written about Remus and Sirius where they all follow a similar story and change small details about the relationship. Here I want to write something that aims to be as engaging as the original books with a unique plot while still having Remus and Sirius' relationship occur. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and I'd love to hear what you guys think in the comments, I always reply to the ones that I see in my inbox ;D And any questions about what happens in the chapter then I'm more than happy to answer


	12. Black Magic

The next week passed rather uneventfully, despite Remus suffering from the mother of all hangovers on the Tuesday morning. James and Sirius were speaking more and Remus even attended a few classes with them and Peter. In his spare time, Remus scoured through his own books and large portions of Hogwarts’ expansive library, searching for any information relating to spellcrafting and the creation of spells.

Lily spent a lot of time in the library with Remus but, oddly, that was the only place he ever saw her. For the entire week, the boys never saw Lily at breakfast or in passing, in the common room. Remus had wanted to ask her about her absence but decided that it would be rude and there was a good chance that she was just lying low for the time, avoiding Worthington’s radar.

By Friday night Remus was stressed, he had read every possible book pertaining to experimental magic and creating new spells and he had found nothing that could explain to him how to properly craft magic, only extracts from the Daily Prophet scattered through the centuries about wizards and witches who had died as a result of their experimental spells going wrong.

When Remus finally returned to the dorms that night he found that Sirius was the only other person in the room with him. He was listening to one of his Life On Mars on the record player with his eyes closed, tapping his fingers in the air and humming along to the keyboard melody quietly. Sirius looked so serene, without his wall of sarcasm and humour or his boisterous facade, he was just peaceful.

‘You never told me you could play the piano,’ Remus said. He had waited for the song to finish before bringing Sirius back into the real world. Sirius gave a slight jump and his grey eyes opened and found their way to meet Remus’.

‘You never asked,’ he shrugged, smiling slightly. Remus smiled back before dropping his bag next to his bed and lying down with a loud grunt.

‘Had a long day?’ Sirius asked, turning down the record player and moving to sit on the end of Remus’ bed.

‘I think I’m just a little stressed,’ Remus replied. This was more than true. Up until now, Remus’ entire life had been relatively calm, besides the full moons, but even then, he had been through so many full moons at home that it was almost normal. In one week’s time, Remus would have to spend his full moon alone in an abandoned cottage, connected to the Hogwarts grounds by a tunnel concealed beneath the Whomping Willow. He was more scared for his transformation on the following Friday than he was for any of his OWL exams, conveniently placed for the two weeks surrounding the full moon. And now, on top of his werewolf issues, he was now taking a keen interest into experimental spells, a field of magic so dangerous that its only reference must be in Hogwarts’ restricted section.

‘Exam stress?’ Sirius asked, tilting his head slightly like a puppy.

‘Something like that,’ said Remus. He covered his face with his hands and took deep breaths in an attempt to rid himself of this uncomfortable feeling inside but to no avail.

Now Sirius felt uncomfortable. Although Sirius had admittedly not known Remus for a very long time, he had never seen Remus this low before. Even bloodied and bleeding out on the bathroom floor, Remus looked happier than he did now. He wasn’t sure what it was that made him do what he did next, but before he knew it he was lying next to Remus on the bed with his arm around the taller boy’s shoulders, Remus’ head resting on Sirius’ chest.

Sirius said nothing. In fear that he had done something wrong or that he had made Remus feel uncomfortable with Sirius next to him, he didn’t move a muscle until Remus spoke.

‘Thank you, Sirius,’ said Remus after a time. ‘I think I really needed this.’ He nuzzled his head slightly into Sirius’ chest and wrapped an arm around his body.

Sirius’ heart was pounding, he had never been in a setting this intimate with a boy before. While there was something scary about being in this vulnerable position with another guy, there was something else to it which warmed his heart and coursed through his body.

‘If it helps you feel better then I’m happy to be here,’ said Sirius, feeling his tensed muscles relax and letting Remus’ body sink into him. Slowly, Sirius began to run on hand up and down Remus’ back, rubbing against the boy’s surprisingly muscular body and feeling the gentle rising and falling with each of Remus’ breaths, each one making a warm, fuzzy feeling against Sirius’ chest.

Over an hour must have gone by, the voice of Bowie had ceased long ago, and the only noise that could be heard was the pattering of rain against the dorm room’s single pane windows. Periodically, Remus would stir and readjust the position of his cheek against Sirius’ firm chest and Sirius would change from running his hand up and down Remus’ spine to rubbing circles on his shoulder blades.

‘So what’s on your mind, Remus?’ asked Sirius. Remus was half asleep and only just managed to comprehend the question but couldn't think of where to start answering it.

‘I don't know,’ Remus lied. The lie hurt him, it burned his lips as the words left his mouth. The bond he had with Sirius felt strong, he wasn’t just the first person McGonagall introduced him to, he had become an actual friend and a good one at that. ‘I’m just scared,’ the boy confessed, rubbing his face into Sirius’ chest again.

‘Scared? Of what?’ Sirius asked. He wasn’t quite sure what there was for Remus to be scared of; sure there was Snape and Bellatrix to worry about, but the last time they saw one of them was when Remus rebounded Snape’s curse in Defence class.

‘Do you just sometimes feel like no matter how hard you try to be normal, the same as everyone else, it’s as if you’re on the outside looking in?’ Remus asked, the honest emotions flowing off his tongue much more easily now.

‘Do you mean being homeschooled?’ Sirius said, still rubbing the taller boy’s back.

‘No, it’s just…’ Remus didn’t know how to explain how he felt without Sirius finding out that he was a werewolf. ‘It’s just that I know who I am and I know how I want to be but… I feel like I’m fighting against the current just to be myself,’ Remus finished. His explanation was more sloppy than soliloquy but his thoughts were stuck somewhere between being calm and contempt with Sirius and being tempestuous and torn apart like he would fell in exactly one week’s time.

‘Don’t worry, I understand,’ said Sirius, moving his head down to rub Remus’ head with his chin.

‘I don't think anyone understands,’ Remus sighed. He knew that part of him was being melodramatic and that countless werewolves had been through worse transformations and had been forced to live far less comfortable lives but that wouldn’t change the pain he felt.

‘Try being the only Black in Gryffindor. The only Black who doesn't want to involve themselves in the dark arts and those blood purist groups you read about in the Prophet.’ Sirius spoke calmly and softly but even thinking about his family again brought out the darkest parts of him, the thoughts and emotions he’d tried so hard to repress, all while coming to terms with his sexuality, something that his family would no doubt try to curse out of him or even disown him.

‘I guess we’re both pretty messed up then,’ said Remus, his voice less sombre now, as if he was now trying to make Sirius feel better. ‘Let’s just be messed up together then.’

‘That sounds perfect,’ said Sirius yawning, before falling asleep with Remus in his arms.

*

Remus woke up the next morning feeling the best he had felt since he had arrived at Hogwarts, though that may have largely been down to waking up in Sirius’ arms, feeling his head rise and fall on Sirius’ chest with every breath the other boy took. With one of his large hands, Remus gently began to rub his hand up and down from Sirius’ collar to his ribs, feeling a warm and muscular body beneath soft silk pyjamas.

When Sirius finally woke up he felt blissful, warm and comfortable, until he realised that he had spent the entire night in his friend’s bed, their bodies pressed against one another.

‘Morning,’ said Remus, in his usual husky and sexy morning voice. The chocolate-brown haired boy lifted his head off Sirius’ chest and looked at him with brilliant emerald eyes. Sirius said nothing, thinking quickly and feeling his blood pressure heighten. Pushing himself back, up the bed frame to sit upwards, he looked around the dorm. For once, fate was in his favour, none of the other fifth year Gryffindor boys had returned to the dorm rooms that night, meaning that he and Remus had been alone together and, more importantly, no one had seen the two of them in bed together.

‘You alright?’ asked Remus, his eyes narrowing as he looked up at Sirius, who looked uncomfortable.

‘I’m fine… it’s just.’ Sirius looked down at Remus who was still lay next to him, the boy’s body still less than an inch away from his own. Remus was beautiful, he was more than beautiful, he was Remus. Sirius had never been one for crushes before, his crippling self-loathing sorted that out for him, but he had always fantasized about living in a different world, one where he could have a partner, a boyfriend, a husband, a man who he could love and would love him in return, a man who he could wake up next to in the morning, just as he had done now with Remus.

‘It’s just, I’d rather it didn’t get around that we slept together… in the same bed I mean,’ Sirius said, flustered. ‘Wouldn’t want to spend my next two years trying to live down gay jokes from the Slytherins.’ He attempted to laugh as he spoke as if the thought of him being tortured over gossip regarding his sexuality was something that could never happen, and something he would never let happen.

‘Oh,’ Remus said, his chipper morning smile receding with a nod. ‘Don’t worry, I imagine that's something the Slytherins would give you hell for. At least you’re straight though, no great issue for you there.’ Remus rolled off the bed after a minute and gave a loud yawn and a big stretch.

‘Yeah,’ said Sirius, feeling something wrench his stomach. If only he could be straight, if only somehow there was some form of magic to mend his sexuality and just make him fancy girls like any normal sixteen-year-old boy. The two of them then got out of Remus’ bed and got dressed, making no conversation.

‘Any plans for today then?’ Sirius asked, breaking the slightly awkward silence that had formed between them, he didn’t want to end the morning of an off note.

‘Nothing much,’ said Remus, throwing on an old and comfortable Beetles t-shirt and a brown cardigan. ‘I’m going to try the library again today. They must have something on spellcrafting, anything.’ The lack of material on spellcrafting was beginning to dishearten Remus.

‘You might be better looking in the restricted section,’ said Sirius, polishing his wand on with the sleeve of his robes. ‘That’s where all the dangerous books are kept.’

‘You’re probably right,’ said Remus. ‘But how would I manage to get into the restricted section? Only the professors are allowed in there.’ Before he knew it, Remus had been hit by a silky blanket.

‘Take this with you, I’m sure James won't mind, so long as you doing get caught with it,’ said Sirius. The invisibility cloak had served himself and James very well for getting into places they weren’t supposed to go, such as exploring the Forbidden Forest and raiding the kitchens at night, so there was no reason why it couldn’t help Remus now, especially when Remus had something of actual value to do.

Less than half an hour later Remus was in the library, James’ invisibility cloak stuffed into his old leather messenger bag. Slipping out of sight, between two bookshelves, he unpacked the cloak and shrouded himself in it. The library’s restricted section was silent and empty with thick layers of dust coating every book and every wooden shelf.

 _‘Accio spellcrafting book,’_ muttered Remus, the tip of his wand protruding from the beneath the cloak. Around him, numerous books had begun to shift on their shelves.

 _‘Finite incantatem,’_ he muttered again. He had really struck gold here in the restricted section, there were many books here which were drawn towards him, but now his only problem was trying to work out which book would be most useful.

 _‘Accio curse creation book.’_ Only one book moved, falling on the floor with a great thud. The book was large and it’s cover made from thick, faded black leather with ancient letters inscribed into it, Remus couldn’t imagine how long ago the book was published. Slowly moving to pick the book up, Remus could only just make out the inscription in the aged leather. The book’s cover read, “Owle Bullock: Secrets of the Darkest Art.”

*

The Saturday marked the fifth year’s penultimate day of peace before the OWLs began the next morning, however, rather than revising for his History of Magic OWL, Remus spent Sunday morning debating whether to read into Secrets of the Darkest Art. The book had a certain air of evil to it, suggested by the title and the general eeriness of the object.

Remus faced a moral dilemma, if he were to read the book, he may learn of dark magic, information which no one should possess, however, if he did not read the book, he would never learn what sort of magic he and Snape had been unknowingly using to create such spells. Finally, he came to a compromise with himself. Remus decided that he would only read the sections of the book relevant to his needs and avoid reading anything which he did not need to know.

With trepidation and a slight amount of fear, Remus opened the cover and scanned the index until he spotted the line, “Herpo the Foul and his experimental magic - Pages 436-483.” He skimmed through the pages until he reached the correct chapter, page 436, and then began reading.

Herpo the Foul certainly lived up to his name, the short introduction to him at the beginning of the chapter assured that. The man was an ancient Greek dark wizard who was infamous for inventing many curses and forms of dark magic, some still used to this day. Herpo was also the first wizard to breed a basilisk, Remus noted, by hatching a chicken egg under a toad. After 10 pages Remus reached the section on his uses of experimental magic. His extensive list of created curses was sickening and Remus even knew some of the curses, which were still being used today, such as the strangling curse. After that, there was a section on his other experimental practices of dark magic, Remus skimmed over much of the content as reading it was beginning to make him sick. Herpo’s blood magic was even worse, the man had a fascination with prolonging his life and many of his rituals required murder at the very least. Remus noted that Herpo had invented the unbreakable vow, a method of splitting one’s soul into objects and a sealing ritual which would ensure that only one person could leave a magic circle, forcing the people trapped inside to fight to the death so that one could escape.

When Remus finally reached the book’s section on actually creating original spells he was disappointed. The section took up less than half a page, page 483, and read

_“Much of the origins of Herpo’s magic have been lost over the ages, though it is believed by his devoted followers that his curses were a channel of pure magical energy and raw emotion, refined through his extensive use and practice to torture and kill countless non-magic Greeks, perhaps the muse for the Greek god Thanatos, the god of death. However, the origin of his Horcrux ritual is believed to predate recorded history, Harpo only being recognised as the last man to succeed in the darkest ritual.”_

*

Sirius’ day had been odd. Although it was a Saturday and he usually lived for the weekends, today just hadn’t felt the same. He had spent most of the day with James, sitting in the Great Hall and accompanying his friend as he flirted with unsuspecting girls. Sirius began to remember what having James in his life was like again, a lot of fun but so much flirting with girls. Before Remus had arrived he could easily join James in chatting up girls just for fun, knowing that his flirting would lead nowhere because he would quit before any girl became too close. But now Remus was here, he felt uncomfortable pretending to flirt, and then he felt sad listening to James flirt, hearing him and the girls chat to one another, every conversation sparking a possible relationship, while he was just stood there imagining what that must be like, imagining trying to start a relationship with Remus, imagining having someone like that.

When he finally left James, telling him he wanted an early night and heading up to bed, his heart leapt when he spotted a sleepy looking Remus in bed, hunched over an old and boring looking book. Remus looked odd as if he was pained by what he was reading as if the words on the page were offending him.

‘What you reading there?’ Sirius asked, walking over to the other boy.

‘Nothing, nothing… just NEWT books,’ Remus lied, sliding the book under his pillow and turning to smile at his friend.

‘Not manage to find anything on spellcrafting?’ Sirius waited for Remus to pat on the side of his bed and invite him to sit down next to him, he was still far too nervous to get that close to Remus without permission.

‘No, no luck,’ Remus lied, again. As much as he wanted to share his newfound knowledge with Sirius (what little knowledge the book actually gave him), he didn’t want Sirius to find out which book he found the information in, or what other information he found out when reading the book. There was something about dark magic that made his skin crawl, perhaps it was his self-loathing werewolf side. ‘How’s your day been?’

‘Pretty good,’ Sirius lied. ‘I was just thinking…’ he took a breath. ‘Would you like to try and find the Room of Requirement tonight? I was just thinking, I could help you with your duelling and maybe we could try and work out how you might start spellcrafting.’ Sirius knew for a fact that what he had just proposed did not constitute a date, didn’t even resemble a date in the slightest, but maybe a day of listening to James flirt with countless girls had hyped him up to this point, made him place some sort of value on just the two of them going out and finding a hidden room together.

‘Yeah, sure,’ said Remus, with a surprising amount of excitement, which made Sirius blush. ‘That sounds amazing!’ Remus needed this, after a day of reading about dark and horrific magic, a night spent with a good man, who was probably his best friend and searching the castle for secret magical rooms to practice duel sounded like heaven.

*

Searching the castle for the Room of Requirement was the most fun either of the boys had had all day. Sirius had heard a tip-off from Peeves that it was somewhere on the seventh floor and a dark wizard had found it and had hidden something inside it, though he couldn’t say he fully believed Peeves. The two had walked through the entire seventh floor twice and to no avail, although talking about James’ flirting attempts had kept them both happy enough.

‘Can you hear something?’ Remus said, mid-way through their third inspection of the floor. There was a faint noise coming from one of the disused charms classrooms.

‘Yeah, it sounds like someone’s in pain,’ said Sirius, drawing out his wand and heading for the door. Remus thought that this was a brave thing of Sirius to do, to run into the unknown when someone needed help, something a real Gryffindor would do. Plucking up courage, Remus took out his wand and followed his friend into the dark room.

 _‘Lumos,’_ the two said in unison, their wand-tips lighting the room. In the far corner was a person sat at a desk, a ghost floating just next to them.

‘Hello, who’s there?’ Sirius called out. The person turned around before immediately putting their face down and covering themselves with their cloak. Something about their face was familiar to Remus but he didn’t see them for long enough to check. Sirius began walking toward the figure, his wand lowered.

‘Sirius!’ Remus whispered loud enough from his friend to hear. ‘They might be dangerous.’ Remus followed slowly, feeling a slight fear in the presence of this shrouded individual.

‘I can assure you she's the most dangerous girl I’ve ever met,’ laughed Sirius, taking a seat next to the cloaked figure.

‘Fuck off, Black. I’m not in the mood.’ Remus knew instantly who the mystery person was.

‘Lily?’ Said Remus. ‘What are you doing on your own somewhere like this? Are you alright?’ As Lily looked up, Remus could see that her eyes were reddened and her face was blotchy.

‘I’m perfectly fine, thank you, Remus,’ she said through sniffles.

‘She’s been like this for days now,’ said the ghost beside Lily. ‘She’s been rather good company, actually.’ To Remus’ astonishment, the ghost was a young girl who wore a Hogwarts uniform.

‘Ah, Remus. I don’t think you’ve met Moaning Myrtle yet,’ said Sirius, sitting down next to Lily.

‘DON’T YOU USE THAT HORRIBLE NAME, SIRIUS BLACK!’ Screamed the young ghost, before wailing and soaring through the floor, down to her bathroom. Remus took a moment to readjust to the situation.

‘Lily, are you alright?’ Remus asked. He knelt down in front of where Lily was sat, taking one of her hands into his own much larger hands.

‘Yes, thank you, Remus,’ she sniffled. ‘I’m fine.’

‘You’re not fine,’ said Sirius, shaking his head. ‘You tell me and Lupin whose upsetting you and we’ll hex the shit out of them for you, won't we Remus.’

‘Fuck off, Black,’ said Lily, wiping her eyes again. Remus got up and sat on a chair next to Lily, wrapping an arm around her. Secretly, Sirius felt a pang of jealousy.

‘It’s alright, Lily,’ said Remus soothingly. ‘We’re here. You’re alright.’ The three of them sat together in silence for a time while Lily buried her face into Remus’ chest.

‘I’m sorry, Evans,’ said Sirius. ‘If you don’t want to talk about it then you don't have to but Remus and I are here if you ever need us or if you want to talk.’ Even Sirius himself was impressed by his sincerity and maturity now. Lily took a deep breath and pulled away from Remus.

‘Thanks, Sirius,’ she sniffed. ‘It's nothing really, I’m just being silly.’

‘Of course you’re not,’ said Remus, smiling and pulling the girl into another hug, Sirius feeling himself yearning for that physical affection.

‘Thank you, Remus.’ She finally gave a little smile and the two boys instantly felt a little better. ‘I’ve just been feeling so embarrassed after that whole ordeal with Emma Worthington. I just felt awful, I knew that kissing Potter was a terrible idea, I knew I should have never let my guard down around him. I’ve just felt so awful since then, I knew that they were together and I kissed him anyway, I deserve to feel like this.’

‘Lily…’ Sirius was speechless, and Sirius was never speechless. There was just too much going on. Lily and James kissed and now she’s feeling guilty and embarrassed over Emma Worthington!?

‘Lily, don’t beat yourself up,’ said Remus, hugging her again. She gave a muffled sound that was crossed between a laugh and a sob. ‘You’re one of the brightest and nicest people I’ve ever met, I’m sure kissing one boy can be forgiven.’

‘Thank you so much, Remus,’ she said, hugging him and tearing up again. Sirius didn’t know how Remus had done it but the boy had somehow managed to diffuse Lily Evans, something very few people had successfully managed to do over the years. Even more impressively, Remus had been kind and caring without any prompt or reward, just out of the kindness of his heart, and that was something Sirius could really value in a man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After far too long I have finally returned! Blame my absence on the British education system for over-working me haha.  
> Hope you guys enjoyed this new chapter and I'd love to hear what you guys are thinking in the comments! I do my best to reply to everyone as soon as I can


	13. The Room of Requirement

The two boys walked Lily out of the darkened classroom and Remus gave her a tissue to wipe her eyes with so that nobody would notice she’d been crying as she walked back to the Gryffindor common rooms. The hallways had become almost silent now and the night was quickly approaching. Sirius was still very impressed at how smoothly Remus had managed to handle Lily in such a state, how kind and caring he was and how gentle he could be. 

‘Should we look around this floor once more for the Room of Requirement and then call it a night?’ said Remus, catching Sirius off guard. 

‘Yeah, ‘course,’ Sirius replied. This now marked their third time scouring the seventh floor for the Room of Requirement, still using the vague hint that Peeves gave to Sirius. That was when a large, ornate wooden door caught the corner of Remus’ eye. 

‘Hey, has that doorway always been there?’ he asked. Sirius looked around and his jaw dropped. Without even saying another word, he walked towards the great oak doors and pushed them wide open. 

The Room of Requirement presented itself as a spacious and unique room, its vastness making it useful for duel practising. Remus followed shortly behind his shorter friend, his wand nervously stretched out, as if expecting something to attack. 

‘Paranoid, Lupin?’ Sirius asked, walking the length of the room, his voice echoing softly off the mirrored walls. 

‘I thought you mentioned that Peeves said something about a wizard leaving a dark object in here?’ Remus said, his wand still at the ready. 

‘Well unless that pile of mattresses is going to eat us, I think we should be fine,’ joked Sirius. ‘Peeves is full of shit at the best of times anyway, the fact his information actually lead us here astounds me.’ Sirius felt giddy, things were going right now. All he had wanted to do this evening was to make Remus happy, and now that they had finally found the room, the fun could begin. 

_ ‘Oppugno!’  _

_ ‘Finite.’  _ Remus blocked Sirius’ spell almost instinctively. 

‘You’re getting quick,’ said Sirius, smiling. ‘I might actually have to start duelling you properly from now on.’ Sirius was laughing with his wand raised up at Remus, pretending they were in a real wizard’s duel. 

‘I can’t take all the credit, I’ve had an amazing friend tutoring me,’ said Remus, also smiling.  _ ‘Everte Statum!’  _

‘Nice try,’ said Sirius, using a blocking spell wordlessly. ‘Maybe you should try using that rebound curse thing you invented?’ 

‘I’m not sure.’ Remus thought for a moment about testing out his spell with Sirius. Professor McGonagall had told him that spellcrafting could be very dangerous and, if that were true, then he didn’t want to be testing that sort of thing out on his best friend of all people. But then again, it would give him a chance to finally work out what that magic he used on Snape during their duel in Defence Against the Dark Arts really was, and it didn’t hurt Snape. ‘Sure, but no nasty curses, just in case it doesn’t work, or if I rebound it at you.’ 

_ ‘Levicorpus,’  _ said Sirius. Remus raised his wand and swished it at the oncoming spell, to no avail. Before he knew it, he was upside down in the air.  _ ‘Finite incantatem.  _ You alright there?’ 

‘Yeah, I just couldn’t make it happen again,’ said Remus, picking himself up off the floor and dusting himself off. ‘To be honest, I’m not entirely sure how I did it the first time.’ That was the truth, as much as Remus had researched and read into Herpo the Foul, he still had no idea where his rebound curse had come from or even how he would go about producing it again. ‘I read that a lot of spell creation was channelling raw emotion.’ 

‘I thought you said you couldn’t find anything in the library?’ Sirius said, his eyes narrowing slightly at the taller boy. 

‘It was only a side note in a book,’ lied Remus. ‘I couldn’t find anything specific.’ That last part was true, even after reading an entire twisted chapter on Herpo the Foul, Remus was still no closer to knowing what this magic was or how to control it. All he had learnt from today was how to hatch a basilisk, how to force two people into a fight to the death, and what a horcrux is, even the word made his stomach feel like it was being twisted. 

‘Well, what emotion were you feeling when you rebounded Snape’s curse in Defence class?’ Sirius asked. 

‘I was scared,’ confessed the other boy. ‘I thought he was going to use that “sectumsempra” on me.’ 

‘Remus, even Snape wouldn’t use that during class,’ said Sirius. ‘And there’s no way I’d ever want to make you scared of me while we’re practising.’ Even the thought of making Remus scared of him was sickening. Kind, sweet, loving and caring Remus, there was no way Sirius could even make a mean joke at the boy’s expense, he cared too much for his new friend. 

 

*

 

After almost an hour and a half of intense practising, the boys decided to call it a night. Sirius had been the victor of the majority of the duels, letting Remus win the others, although he had to admit that Remus was beginning to give the seasoned pro a run for his money towards the end. 

The door to the Room of Requirement disappeared one the boys left, leaving the two stood in the middle of an unassuming corridor. They walked back towards the Grand Staircase chatting until Sirius froze in place. Remus paused to ask Sirius what he was doing but at that moment Sirius took him by the hand and walked backward down the corridor. 

‘Sirius, what are you -’ 

‘Shh!’ Sirius hushed, and with one slow movement of his left hand, pointed towards an unpleasant looking cat. 

‘The cat?’ Remus whispered in confusion. 

‘Mrs. Norris,’ said Sirius, still reversing up the corridor. ‘If we move slowly and quietly, she might not -’ At that moment, the dust-coloured cat gave an ungodly noise, more like a scream than a “meow.” 

‘Run!’ Sirius tightened his grip on Remus’ hand, dragging him back up the corridor and towards the Room of Requirement. When the two reached the mysterious oak door, they clambered inside and collapsed onto the floor. 

‘What just happened?’ Remus asked, however, his panting was making him difficult to understand. 

‘You’ve just met Mrs Norris,’ said Sirius, who was also panting, though he was now beginning to laugh, feeling the adrenaline of running back with Remus kicking in. 

‘Is she a professor too?’ Remus asked. ‘An animagus like McGonagall?’ Sirius laughed harder. 

‘If she was then that would make a lot of sense,’ he giggled, getting up and offering Remus a helping hand off the ground. ‘No, she’s not. Mrs Norris is just a bitch of a cat who belongs to Filch. The two of them seem to live for trying to catch me and James out of bed after hours.’ 

One Remus was on his feet, his eyes adjusted to the room, which seemed far darker and far more full than it had done only ten minutes previous. Just in front of them was an old mahogany coffee table sat afront of an old leather sofa. Behind the table and sofa was a large, white four-poster bed, dressed in silk sheets and feather pillows. 

‘This is very…’ Sirius blushed and faltered for words. He had only just woken up this morning in Remus’ bed, with Remus in his arms, and now the Room of Requirement was encouraging him to have another go? He wasn’t sure how to feel; on one hand, the opportunity to sleep in a bed with Remus was perfect, everything he could ask for, but at the same time he knew he couldn’t let himself grow this close to Remus, he knew it would break him to be so close but to never have Remus to himself, to have Remus like he wanted to have Remus.  ‘... very different.’ 

‘The room must have known we’d have to spend the night here,’ said Remus, walking around the room. ‘Are you happy to share a bed with me again? At least in here, nobody could ever see us to tell anyone.’ Damn, thought Sirius, the boy made a good point. 

‘You win, Lupin,’ Sirius said, smiling and attempting to distract from his scarlet cheeks. ‘You have me as your personal pillow yet again.’ 

Before long the boys were stripped to their shirts and boxers, sliding under the silk sheets and finding their position, Remus on his right side with his head on Sirius’ chest and Sirius lay back with his arm around Remus. With his free hand reaching for his wand, Sirius was able to put out the room’s candles, leaving the two in a pale blue light, watching the stars pass by through a high window. 

‘I’m sorry about your family,’ said Remus out of the blue. 

‘Everyone has their own messy family situation to worry about, I’m no different.’ Sirius dismissed Remus’ comment, not wanting thoughts of his family to ruin such an amazing night. 

‘I’ve never met anyone who hated their entire family before, not to your extent.’ 

‘They’re not all bad, Regulus is just confused and my other cousin Andromeda is alright, she’s in the year above us, shame her sisters are pure evil.’ Sirius laughed, laughter always helped to numb pain, whether you’ve fallen off your broom or were remembering some real trauma, and Sirius regarded his family as a trauma. 

‘You can’t go back there,’ said Remus, there was no hint of choice in his voice, this was a command. ‘Those people are evil and you’re not like them, you don't deserve to be there with them.’ 

‘That’s a nice thought,’ laughed Sirius, although it hurt him deep inside to do so. ‘Where would I even go? I think my father might actually finish the job and kill me if I cause a scene.’ 

‘You could stay with me this summer,’ said Remus. Remus didn’t even know what he was saying at this point, he just knew that he couldn't let Sirius go back to those people. 

‘Remus…’ Sirius was lost for words. He had only known this boy for just over a week and he was only the first friend Remus had made at the school and now Remus was inviting him to stay with him? Remus was so pure, far too pure and good for this world, far too good and pure for Sirius, he didn’t deserve Remus, the world didn’t deserve Remus. ‘Remus, I love the offer, I really do… but I can’t accept. Once you’ve finished your exams you’ll go back home and you won't think of me like you do now. I’m sure by the time you come back to do your NEWTs you won't remember me at all.’ Sirius attempted to cover the sound of his faltering voice with a forced, fake laugh but his throat buckled. He was glad that the room was dark so that Remus didn’t have to see a single tear escape from the corner of his eye. 

‘Is that what you really think?’ Remus stirred, rolling more or less on top of Sirius’ body so that he could look Sirius in the eye. Sirius rolled his head to one side so that the tear trail on his right cheek was hidden, rubbed against the pillow. ‘Do you really think I could ever forget you? Forget how much fun I’ve had just being here with you? Sirius, look at me.’ 

‘Remus you don’t have to -’ Sirius couldn’t speak. As commanded he turned his face to look at his handsome friend, who’s green and golden eyes also looked full and on the verge of tempting a tear. ‘Once you’re home, things will be different, you’ll have your family and people who love you, you won’t need stupid fucking Sirius Black around anymore.’ 

‘How could you even say that? You stupid fucking -’ Remus’ eyes finally broke tears and he laughed through his pain. Sirius felt one or two droplets hit his chest, just below his throat. 

‘Remus -’ 

‘No, Sirius,’ Remus interrupted. ‘I love you so much, so fucking much. You, Lily, James, I love you guys so much. I don’t know how I’m going to cope when I go back home, I don't know what I’m going to do with my life without you guys, my only real friends.’ Remus knew he was being melodramatic but he was telling the truth, this thought had been playing on his mind since the first instant he met Sirius and Lily at the Gryffindor table after McGonagall had led him there. ‘You think I could ever forget you, Sirius?’ He continued. ‘This past week is going to go down as the greatest week of my entire life, I’ll be thinking about this time and you guys for the rest of my life. If anyone’s going to forget someone, it’ll be you guys forgetting me. Hogwarts is such an amazing place and you have so many friends here, you’ll barely notice that I’m gone.’ 

‘Remus… I need you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my life, not even James. My life will be nothing like it is now once you’re gone, I don't know if I’ll ever be able to feel as good as I feel when I’m with you.’ Sirius had barely stopped for breath. His sloppy soliloquy, his stream of consciousness, just felt like he was blowing up the dam holding back everything he felt. ‘I don’t know what any of this means, all I know is that I fucking love you and I don’t know if you feel the same way but -’ His speech was cut short by warm lips colliding with his own. Remus’ kiss was like nothing he had ever experienced, it made his legs numb, his stomach flutter, his heart race. He could feel Remus’ body above his own, one of the boy’s legs were knelt beside his waist and the boy’s other leg was resting against his opposite thigh. On the upper half of the body, it was difficult to tell who’s arms belonged to who as they were wrapped so tightly around one another, their chests and rapidly beating hearts mere inches from colliding with one another. 

When the kiss finally broke, Sirius pulled Remus in and onto himself. Remus could feel Sirius’s muscular arms pulling him down and pressing his body into the other boy’s more toned body. Now Remus was laid directly on top of Sirius, his head just beside Sirius’, Sirius’ stubble scratching his cheek in the best possible way. 

No other words were said that night, there didn’t seem to be any need for more words. The two boys just lay together, each imagining a world where their life situations would allow a future with the other boy to exist.

 

*

 

The next morning Remus awoke in a way which was similar to the previous morning yet entirely different. As his already forgotten dreams faded from existence and reality became slightly more real, the first thing he could feel was a warmth beneath him, a rubbing up and down his back, and a gentle scratching against his cheek. 

‘Morning, Lupin,’ said Sirius, far warmer and friendlier than he had been the previous morning. 

‘Good morning to you too, Black.’ His voice was husky, as it usually was in the morning. 

‘I love your voice when it’s like that.’ Remus could feel the other boy laugh slightly, his broad chest rising and falling below Remus. The comment made Remus smile without even thinking and Sirius could feel it, the boy’s cheek rubbing up against his own. 

‘Do you really,’ said Remus, attempting to subside his giggling and instead try to deepen his very rough and masculine morning voice. ‘Did you enjoy… that thing last night?’ Remus asked, knowing that Sirius froze up the previous morning, faced with the reality that he had slept in the same bed as Remus. 

‘I enjoyed it a lot,’ said Sirius, blushing to himself. He hadn’t slept at all that night, he had been preoccupied with assessing where he now stood with Remus. Although he was still scared of accepting this part of himself, Sirius knew that Remus was special and that this feeling he felt could be a once in a lifetime feeling. ‘Remus, could I tell you something, something I wasn’t honest about when I told you about it before.’ 

‘Of course,’ said Remus, rolling off Sirius’ chest and letting himself fall by his side, Sirius arm still around his back. 

‘Remus…’ Sirius felt sick but he knew that Remus would accept him. ‘I’m gay.’ 

‘That’s great,’ said Remus. Before he said anything else he pulled Sirius in, into a tight hug, so that now Remus was the one lying on his back of Sirius was the one in Remus’ arms. Remus could feel Sirius’ deep breaths against his chest and Sirius’ pulse beating quickly throughout his body. ‘I’m so proud of you.’ 

Sirius didn’t know what to think or feel. Remus marked only the second person Sirius had ever told that he was a homosexual, besides Lily Evans and maybe the Giant Squid after he sat and talked to himself by the Black Lake after a long day. The next thing he knew, he was receiving a kiss on the head, he could feel Remus’ warm and soft lips against his temple, soothing his turmoiled thoughts. 

‘I don't know whether it’s fate or just a happy series of events that lead us to each other, but I’m so glad I’ve met you,’ said Sirius, allowing himself to melt into Remus’ body, his head resting on the other boy’s chest. ‘I’ve never felt like this about anyone else before.’ 

‘I don’t know what it is you’re feeling,’ said Remus, closing his eyes and lying back again. ‘But if it’s anything like what I’m feeling, then this is something special.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE leave me a comment letting me know if you're enjoying yourself! I loved writing this chapter so much, it was just so easy to write that it felt natural. 
> 
> I love reading everyone's comments and replying to people and I'd really love to know what sort of things people really love reading so that I can try and make my writing even better in the future!
> 
> Thanks for reading guys, love yous ;D


	14. Bringing Out the Best

The following morning marked the beginning of the OWL exams, with Charms leading the events on the Monday morning. That night every student was so stressed and frightened for their next exam, Transfiguration on the Tuesday, that much of the castle was void of fifth-year students, most of whom were revising, either in the library or in their dorm rooms.

By the time Wednesday night finally rolled around, Sirius felt exhausted. He had never been one to struggle with school work before, but now, however, the stress was really hitting him after facing a particularly devious Herbology exam. Not only was he exhausted, but he had been seriously missing spending time with Remus, it had only been three days since they had woken up in the same bed as one another and he confided his homosexuality, but, after spending every waking moment of the previous week with Remus, these three days had felt grueling.

Remus hadn’t been enjoying the OWLs either. Although he had tried his hardest, and honestly believed that he had done rather well so far, his Defence Against The Dark Arts exam was tomorrow, and he was scared of failing due to his lack of practical experience. As stressful as the OWLs were, he still had other problems which were distracting his thoughts. On Friday night, after his Ancient Runes exam, he would have to spend his first full moon alone and away from home. In the past, he had always been in his parent’s basement, was left there with a blanket and a kiss from his mother, and awoke in searing pain, usually in the arms of his father, carrying him from the basement back up to his bedroom. But now was different, now he was alone, now he was isolated in a strange place he had never been before, and all he felt was fear.

It was late when Remus finally went up to the dormitories, he had spent the full afternoon in the library, revising and worrying about the following day’s Defence exam. Inside the room, Sirius was alone, he hadn’t yet noticed that Remus had entered and he was just sat, motionless, perched on the end of Remus’ bed and staring out of the window, watching the sun fall towards the horizon. The boy’s face looked immediately happier after turning to see Remus stood by the door, jumping off the bed slightly and smiling.

‘How’d you find Herbology?’ Sirius asked, his deep grey eyes shimmering in the golden-hour light cast through the window.

‘Pretty well, I think,’ said Remus, taking a seat next to his friend on the bed. ‘You?’

‘Less well,’ Sirius chuckled. ‘Still a pass but not amazing.’ They sat there for another minute in silence, both boys just watching the gradual dying of the sun and the creeping of navy tints in the sky above. ‘I don't know whether your bed has the best position in the room for watching sunsets or whether I just enjoy sitting here more because I feel closer to you.’

‘I don't care either way, I’m just happy to think you want to be close to me,’ said Remus. Slowly, he reached his hand over to Sirius’ lap, where the other boy’s hand was located, feeling Sirius’ much warmer and softer fingers intertwine with his own. Just then he felt another hand grab his own, Sirius was stroking the back of his hand.

‘Remus, you’re cold,’ said Sirius, using both of his hands to hold Remus’ more tightly. Remus hadn’t noticed that he’d been so cold until he held Sirius’ hand, he never noticed how cold and sickly he became just before the full moons. It was around this time every month that Remus’ mother would begin giving him extra blankets for at night and providing him with a steady stream of warm teas and hot chocolates to keep him warmer inside but since she wasn’t here to look after him, he would just have to suffer the cold for one month. ‘Are you sure you’re alright? You look like you might be coming down with something.’

‘I’m fine,’ Remus protested as Sirius put a hand up to his forehead to check Remus’ temperature. ‘Really, you don't need to worry about me. This is just how I get before the -’ He cut himself off. He had just come so close, dangerously close, to revealing what he was to Sirius, he couldn’t afford to slip up in front of his most loved friend.

‘Before what?’ Sirius prodded.

‘Before… something I’m really nervous about, the Defence Against the Dark Arts exam tomorrow.’ Sirius gave a frown and continued putting his palm up to Remus’ forehead and rubbing the boy’s neck and jaw to check his glands. ‘Sirius, you don't have to - I’m really fine -’

‘Shut up, Lupin,’ said Sirius, still checking his friend for signs of a cold or flu. ‘Lie down,’ he commanded, hushing Remus before he even had a chance to protest.

‘Sirius, what are you -’

 _‘Sentier Calidum,’_ whispered Sirius, waving his wand up and down Remus’ body, and instantly the boy began to feel warmth flow through him. ‘I always wanted to be a healer, if the Aurors decline my application, that is.’ Sirius gave a smile and continued to hover his wand just above Remus’ body, reaching from head to toe.

‘Never imagined you as a healer,’ Remus chuckled. ‘Don’t imagine that would have nearly as much excitement to captivate you. Where did you learn this spell? I don't recognise it.’

‘Surprisingly, this is from the Black family library,’ Sirius laughed. ‘Father used to punish me and Regs quite harshly and quite often when we were kids so I’d take my mother’s wand and practice all the healing spells I could find in that library. God, I loved that library. I hated my parents so much that I’d spend every day just reading, escaping into every book I could find. By the time the Hogwarts book list came in my first year, I’d already learned each book cover to cover.’ He laughed to himself again but Remus could detect a hint of sadness under his self-assured facade.

‘Funny how you never spend any time in the library here, it’s amazing. I wish I had a massive library at home, I just had to put up with whichever books by dad could borrow from work, or sometimes my mum would take me to the local muggle library.’ Remus found it funny how similar the two of them really were and how long their mutual love of books had taken to reach the topic of conversation.

‘Feeling better?’ Sirius asked, taking a seat beside where Remus was lying.

‘Yeah, I feel amazing,’ said Remus, then his cheeks blushed. ‘But I think I’d feel a hell of a lot warmer with you lay with me.’ Sirius laughed, nodded and lay down next to his pale looking friend. ‘You’re so warm all the time, like a giant hot water bottle that doubles as my pillow.’

‘You’re not too bad yourself, Lupin,’ Sirius said with a laugh and a yawn.

‘I can barely compare to you,’ Remus said, smiling but with a slight sigh. ‘You’re so perfect… and I’m so scarred.’ Remus stirred to look away and Sirius felt his stomach drop. He couldn’t believe that Remus could think that about himself. Remus was one of the most handsome and wholesome individuals that Sirius had ever had the pleasure of calling a friend and he refused to let Remus believe otherwise.

‘What if I told you I could heal your scars?’ Sirius spoke in a low voice, he knew that this was not a matter to be taken lightly with Remus.

‘I’m grateful for the offer, Sirius, I really am, but I don’t think that these scars will be leaving me anytime soon.’ Remus looked back at his friend and smiled. He knew that Sirius was only trying to help but werewolf scars were untreatable.

‘There’s a method of ancient healing spell I read about in one of the oldest books in the Black collection, I think it was written by Mungo Bonham,’ said Sirius. ‘I’m not sure if it will work, but if I can just adapt one of his spells -’

‘You better not be spellcrafting too,’ laughed Remus. ‘We can’t both end up blowing ourselves up.’

‘Do you trust me?’ Sirius locked his eyes onto Remus’, who nodded. Taking one of Remus’ scarred arms, he ran his wand up and down it, closing his eyes and chanting, _‘Et pulchrum est. Mea sunt enim omnia. Te amo. Celare tenebris. Non vos estis in tenebris.’_

‘Sirius, I don't think it’s -’ Remus was about to tell Sirius to stop until he felt a feeling washing over his right arm as if Sirius was pouring warm water over his arm. Looking closer, he could see some of his scars healing, the torn and shredded skin repairing itself and leaving only much thinner white lines rather than the deep scars he had known.

‘Sorry I couldn’t make them totally disappear, I’m not sure what else I could -’ Sirius was stopped by Remus’ lips. Although the kiss only lasted a moment, it was passionate and real. Sirius sat, stunned for a second, unable to process what was going on, until he saw an uncontrollable grin on Remus’ face.

‘Thank you, Sirius,’ Remus said with his wide smile, looking back and forth between Sirius and his freshly healed arm. ‘Sirius, you don't think you could -’ He cut himself short, still smiling and blushing but looking away as if he was debating to ask something.

‘Anything, Remus,’ said Sirius, ecstatic at the prospect of helping Remus. ‘Anything at all.’

‘Do you think you’d be able to use that spell on… these scars?’ Remus stuttered when he spoke, running a finger across the deeply grooved scars running across his face. Although his face was less scarred than his arms or torso, there were three very distinctive and deep scars running diagonally from his temple to the opposite jaw. As Sirius inspected Remus’ scars closer, he could begin to see more detail. He had never focused on Remus’ scars before and therefore had never noticed how deep, red and sore they looked.

‘Let me see,’ Sirius said, lowering Remus back onto the bed so that his head rested gently on a pillow. _‘Et pulchrum est. Mea sunt enim omnia. Te amo. Celare tenebris. Non vos estis in tenebris.’_

Again, the spell took a long time to start working with a lot of careful and repetitive incantation work on Sirius’ part. After ten minutes, Sirius stopped, lowered his wand and limply let himself fall next to Remus on the bed. He felt exhausted as if the spell had drained him entirely of his magical energy and left him empty.

‘This experimental stuff is really tiring,’ said Sirius, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands and catching his breath. Remus was not paying attention, instead, he raised a single finger to his cheek. What was once a deeply indented and repulsive scar now only felt like the thin scar of a clean cut, nothing comparable to the horrific clawing that had taken place on his face when he was only a child.

Without another word, Remus jumped up and ran to the Gryffindor boy’s toilets, where he had been dragged, weak and bloodied, just over a week prior. Now he stood in front of the bathroom mirror, gazing into his own reflection. The eyes were the same, the same emerald green eyes with bands of liquid gold around the pupils, and his chocolate coloured hair was the same, but his face was so very different. Gone were the deep, dark scars, the ugly shredded skin, now replaced with much softer skin with only faint lines scored across.

‘Remus, are you alright?’ Sirius came billowing into the bathroom, seeing his friend leaning over a sink and staring into the mirror above. Remus was silent, still not breaking eye contact with his reflection, only moving once Sirius moved to shake his upper arm. ‘Are you -’ Remus pulled Sirius into a tight hug, drying his eyes on the shorter boy’s shoulder, then looking up and quickly kissing him.

‘Thank you, thank you, thank you, Sirius!’ Remus could do nothing but thank his friend and stare into the mirror. He felt like a new man, the anxiety that perpetually enveloped him feeling somewhat lighter.

‘What’s going on,’ came the voice of James Potter. The boy strolled into the bathroom to find Sirius with an arm around Remus, who was looking into the mirror and touching his face. ‘He’s not been attacked again, has he Sirius?’

‘No, he’s fine,’ Sirius laughed. ‘I’ll drag him out in a second.’ And with that, James left them and they were alone together again.

‘I don't know how I’ll ever repay you,’ said Remus, smiling uncontrollably and feeling a new sense of self-confidence.

‘Shut up, Lupin,’ Sirius laughed again. ‘Come on, before James goes gossiping that something’s up with you.’ As the two left, Sirius could hear a hushed whispering from outside the bathroom and then saw a gaggle of his friends.

‘Remus!’ Shouted Lily, pushing Sirius out of her way to hug Remus as he left the bathroom.

‘Yeah, what’s up?’ Remus asked, looking down at Lily Evans, who had her arms clamped tightly around his waist.

‘We saw you rush into the bathroom with Sirius following you. We all thought that you might have been attacked again so we sent Potter inside to check on you, but when he came out, he said that you looked odd and that you were staring into the mirror and touching your…’ The word “face” had slipped her tongue. Looking up, she had momentarily become speechless, her jaw bobbing up and down.

‘Your scars…’ said Peter, staring at Remus and pointing.

‘Your scars are gone,’ James finished. A girl who was with Frank, whom Remus presumed was Alice, slapped Peter’s outstretched arm muttering something along the lines of, ‘It’s rude to point, Pettigrew.’  

‘Yeah,’ Remus muttered to the small crowd, not realising how many friends were concerned about him. ‘Sirius altered an old healing charm and he cleared my scars up.’

‘BLACK!’ Lily’s eyes darted to him and she hit him with one of her Defence Against the Dark Arts revision books. ‘Playing around and altering spells is dangerous! And to test it out on Remus’ face!’ She hit him again.

‘Alright, Evans! Alright! Calm down,’ Sirius said, rubbing the sore spot on his shoulder where Lily had just hit him repeatedly. ‘It worked didn’t it?’ She gave him a stern look.

‘I suppose…’ she trailed off. ‘Remus, you look very… handsome.’ Remus almost laughed out of shock.

‘I, erm… well… thank you, Lily,’ he said finally, smiling. This was a new experience for Remus, he had never been complimented on his appearance before, usually, people just averted their eyes from his scars and avoided asking personal questions.

‘Hot stuff, Lupin,’ James said, giving him a playful wink and making the entire group laugh. ‘It’s a shame we have a Defence exam tomorrow, you would make an excellent wingman.’ The group laughed again, although Sirius and Lily couldn’t help but roll their eyes a little bit.

‘I just wish I had a little bit more experience with the practical stuff,’ Remus sighed. Peter, Alice and Frank nodded, feeling a shudder at the thought of the following day’s practical element.

‘Well, if that’s about half of us, we could all find a spare classroom and practice together,’ said Sirius, twiddling his wand between his fingers. ‘I could work with Remus, Lily with Alice, and I’m sure James can help Frank and Peter.’ He earned a few enthusiastic nods and they decided to get their wands and meet up in the disused Charms classroom. Since Sirius and Lily already had their wands with them, they made their way down first to move tables and chairs out of the way.

 

*

 

The classroom that Sirius and Lily entered was the one that himself and Remus had found Lily crying in only a few days earlier. Levitation charms made moving the desks and chairs easy work so they were free to talk.

‘You’ve really brought out the best in him, you know, with Remus,’ Lily said, launching a chair to the other end of the room.

‘You mean our little ugly duckling? That charm was nothing, really,’ Sirius said, smiling. Even just talking about the boy was enough to make him smile. ‘I honestly don’t think the charm did all that much, it’s not like he was a bad looking bloke to begin with.’

‘I’m not talking about his face, although you must admit, he looks amazing,’ she giggled. ‘I meant that, when we first started talking to him, after Professor McGonagall introduced him to us, he seemed so shy. It’s just that, now, after spending a week with you, he’s become so much more confident, and I think he looks happier for it too.’ Lily had an odd way of noticing things and analysing them with wisdom beyond her years.

‘Yeah,’ said Sirius simply, blushing and concentrating on moving desks.

‘Kissed him yet?’ Lily smirked.

‘None of your business, Evans,’ laughed Sirius.

‘Oh, come on. Please!’ Lily strained her voice. Sirius knew that, as dignified and proper as Lily Evans was, she was not adverse to knowing secrets and learning about people’s private lives. In fairness to her, she was talented with it, Sirius had known that ever since she comforted him in second year after receiving a particularly spiteful letter from his mother and Lily had talked to him, gave him advice and kept it between them. ‘You know who I kissed and I doubt that admitting you kissed the handsome new boy is nearly as embarrassing as kissing Potter while he had a girlfriend.’ There was regret in her voice as she spoke.

‘Fine then,’ said Sirius, feeling sorry for Lily and that she had suffered so long for one kiss when Sirius had now had three from Remus and even slept in bed with him on two occasions. Lily made a giddy high pitched noise and quickly muffled herself with her hand. ‘We’ve kissed, okay?’

‘How long did it last?’ She asked, there was no hint that she was giving him an option. Sirius gave a groan.

‘Quite a while, the first time anyway.’

‘The first time!’ Lily squealed. ‘How many times now?’

‘Three,’ said Sirius. As uncomfortable as he found it, telling Lily about him kissing Remus, he also found it exhilarating.

‘When was the last time?’

‘Just then, in the bathroom, after he saw his face.’

‘Where did you kiss first?’

‘Empty classroom, just after we met you in here the other day,’ Sirius lied. He wasn’t sure why, but he had an urge to keep the Room of Requirement between him and Remus, just for a little while.

‘Who kissed first?’ Sirius had to think for a while.

‘Remus, I think.’ Just then, the other Gryffindors entered the classroom, James must have said something because Remus was doubled over in loud laughter. ‘What’s so funny, Lupin?’

‘I was just telling Remus here about the time we blew up Snape’s cauldron,’ said James, replying since Remus wasn’t quite able to speak, he was laughing so hard.

‘Which time are you talking about?’ Sirius asked.

‘Christmas, first year,’ James replied.

‘That is a great story, in fairness,’ Sirius said, smiling as the others spread themselves out across the classroom.

It only took Remus ten minutes to get back into the spirit of things. As exhausting as it was to work with Sirius, made even more exhausting now that he had picked up well on wordless magic, he found himself enjoying duelling more than he had ever expected. Every ten minutes Sirius was telling everyone to rotate, giving everyone a chance to practice with one another and giving the stronger duelers, Sirius, James and Lily, more chance to practice more intense duelling with one another.

Remus was getting used to how everyone used magic differently now; Alice was strong with protection charms but weaker with offensive spells while Frank was the opposite, Peter had a bad habit of dropping his wand when he was scared, James prided himself on casting the strongest spells while Lily displayed an array of different spells, all perfect for a given situation, and Sirius could fire spells at an unparalleled speed, made even faster now that he didn’t have to use incantations for most of them. Remus wasn’t sure what his strengths and weaknesses were yet, he just tried his best and managed rather well against everyone. While Sirius was taking Frank and Peter through protection charms, James pulled Remus aside.

‘Sirius told me about your duel with Snape the other day,’ James said, in a lower voice than Remus was used to hearing him using.

‘What did he say?’ Remus was curious to hear whether Sirius had told him about when he rebounded Snape’s curse or his new interest in spellcrafting.

‘He told me that Snape had you on the ropes until you rebounded something, which sounded odd but that’s not what I’m interested in,’ said James and Remus took a sigh of relief that he didn’t have to try and explain how he managed to rebound the curse again. ‘I wanted to teach you some proper fighting spells, something that you could use in a fight if Snape were to come at you for real. Sirius has said he’s more than happy teaching you a new more powerful spells too but, if you wouldn’t mind, I don't want Lily hearing about any of this. She had some sort of weird friendship with Snape and she gets touchy when we talk about fighting him.’

‘I’d love to learn some fighting spells,’ said Remus. He noticed that Sirius gave him a smile from the other side of the classroom and he smiled back. Just a minute later Sirius came over to stand with Remus and James.

‘So, has he told you that we’re teaching you how to fight?’ Sirius asked. He had a playful smirk on his face which seemed to show itself most prominently whenever James was around.

‘I think he might need a demonstration,’ James said, with the same smirk Sirius had just shown. He then shouted for the others to rest for a minute and move to one side so that he and Sirius could use the full room to have a proper fight.

‘I swear, one of you is going to end up in the hospital wing, don’t say I didn’t want you,’ said Lily, shaking her head and walking over to sit by Remus.

‘They won’t actually hurt each other, will they?’ Lily couldn’t help but smile at the genuine fear in his voice.

‘Don’t worry. They might look like they’re trying to kill each other and they’ll definitely use some nasty spells but they normally know when to stop,’ she said, pausing. ‘When they’re not taunting Slytherins,’ she added, shaking her head as if remembering things she’d rather forget. Now at opposite sides of the room, the two wizards shared a nod and took stance, wands pointed at one another.

 _‘Obscuro!’_ James bellowed, Sirius, feeling fabric covering his eyes.

 _‘Protego Maxima,’_ Sirius muttered, unknotting the blindfold behind a translucent protection charm and feeling slightly annoyed that James had made him look foolish in front of Remus. ‘Cheap move, Potter. _'Locomotor Mortis!’_ James fell to the floor on the other end of the room, his legs bound by magic.

‘And you called my tricks cheap,’ laughed James. ‘Impedimenta!’ He hit Sirius dead in the chest and Sirius’ movements became very slow. _‘Stupify!’_ The next spell hit Sirius too, this one knocking him backwards and onto the floor.

 _‘Expelliarmus!’_ Sirius shot this spell from where he was lay on the floor, knocking James backwards as his wand dropped to the floor. _‘Reducto!’_ A lightning blue spell shot towards James but Sirius flicked his wand and it missed last second, the table behind him reduced to dust.

‘Fucking hell, Sirius! You could have killed him!’ Lily was red in the face and squaring up to Sirius with her wand to his throat. Then came the voice of James laughing from the other side of the room.

‘Shit, sorry mate,’ Sirius made an apologetic smile to his friend. ‘I was meant to use a blasting curse on you but it all came out wrong.’ He made a nervous laugh, made more uncomfortable by Lily’s wand tip prodding his neck.

‘Nah, no problem,’ James laughed. ‘Though I would have blocked it if you hadn’t have knocked my wand out of my hand.’

‘That was amazing!’ Remus had never been so transfixed on anything his entire life. Quidditch had never interested him much, muggle sports did nothing for him either, but watching real duelling happening was exhilarating.

‘Glad you enjoyed,’ said Sirius, trying to look cool, although it was plainly obvious that he was blushing.

‘We should be heading back,’ said Lily, checking her watch. ‘It’s late and we have exams tomorrow.’ The others nodded reluctantly and began exiting the classroom. Just before they left, Sirius pulled Remus aside for one last moment so that they could be alone together.

‘You did really well today, you’re really coming along nicely,’ said Sirius, his hand running down the other boy’s shoulder.

‘You were amazing, but then again, you always are,’ Remus said, smiling at Sirius. ‘I still can’t thank you enough for what you did with my scars. I can’t tell you how much -’ He was unable to find words, his smile was uncontrollable. ‘I’m just glad that I can look a little nicer for you. You deserve better than someone who’s ugly and covered in scars.’

‘Remus.’ Sirius wrapped an arm around the boy’s waist and pulled him in. ‘You’ve never been ugly, never. From the moment you first walked in I thought you were one of the most handsome men I’d ever seen.’

‘Shut up,’ said Remus, laughing and blushing as he felt Sirius’ head rest on his shoulder.

‘Even with your deeper scars, you always shone through them. For all I care you could still be scarred, as torn up as you can imagine, I’d still like you for you, not for how you look.’ Sirius gently kissed Remus’ neck and he heard the other boy groan slightly.

‘Then why bother healing my scars then?’ Remus asked, leaning the other boy backwards and kissing his neck in return.

‘Because I knew that they bothered you,’ said Sirius. As much as he was enjoying Remus’ lips kissing his lightly stubbled neck, he pulled away so that he could look into his great emerald eyes. ‘I healed you because I knew that it would make you happier and more confident. I mean, look, you’ve been far more sociable today with the others than you’ve ever been.’

‘Thank you, Sirius,’ Remus said, pulling Sirius into another tight hug before they left to follow their friends back up to Gryffindor tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'd love to know what you guys think. 
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this chapter, it was really a lot of fun, which might be why it only took me one day to write it haha!


	15. Snape's Worst Memory

The Defence Against the Dark Arts exam the next day came quickly and before they knew it, the written test was over. On the way out of the Great Hall, Sirius worked his way through the crowd of fifth years to Remus, who was looking more pale and peaky than the day before.

‘How did you find question ten?’ asked Sirius as they emerged into the Entrance Hall.

‘It was alright,’ said Lupin nervously. ‘Was that the one about werewolves?’ His heart raced but he calmed down by telling himself that Sirius was only being talkative, he didn’t know anything.

‘D’you think you managed to get all the signs?’ said James.

‘Think I did,’ said Remus seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. The three boys strolled off down the lawn towards the lake but Remus had a haunting feeling that they were being followed.

‘Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake,’ said Sirius. ‘I’d be surprised if I don't get an “Outstanding” on it at least.’

‘Me too,’ said James. He put his hand into his pocket and took out a struggling Golden Snitch.

‘Where’d you get that?’

‘Nicked it,’ said James casually. Remus was impressed by the boy’s reflexes, allowing the Snitch to fly as much as a foot away before seizing it again. They stopped in the shade of the very same beech tree on the edge of the lake where Remus and Sirius had taken breaks between practising over a week prior.

Remus took out his book, “Secrets of the Darkest Art”. Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so. James was still playing with the Snitch, letting it zoom further and further away, almost escaping but always grabbing it at the last second. Peter watched with his mouth open. Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Peter gasped and applauded. After five minutes of this, Sirius wondered why James didn't tell him to get a grip on himself, but James seemed to be enjoying the attention.

‘Put that away, will you,’ said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Peter let out a cheer, ‘before Pete wets himself with excitement.’

‘If it bothers you,’ he said, stuffing the Snitch back in his pocket. Remus had the distinct impression that Sirius was the only one for whom James would have stopped showing off.

‘I’m bored,’ said Sirius.

‘This’ll liven you up,’ said James quietly. ‘Look who it is…’

Sirius’ head turned. He became very still, like a dog that had scented a rabbit.

‘Excellent,’ he said. ‘ _Snivellus._ ’

Remus turned to see what Sirius was looking at. Snape was on his feet, stowing some papers into his bag. As he left the shadows of the bushes he was sat in, he set off across the grass and Sirius and James followed him.

‘Alright, Snivellus?’ said James loudly.

Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack: dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, _‘Expelliarmus!’_

Snape’s wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter. This was payback for when Snape used that cutting curse on Remus and he was going to receive his punishment severely.

 _‘Impedimenta!’_ he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.

Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands raised, Sirius livid with anger and an unsatisfied longing for revenge. Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but his wand was ten feet away so nothing happened.

‘Wash out your mouth,’ said James coldly. _‘Scourgify!’_ Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him -

‘Leave him ALONE!’ Lily’s voice was loud enough to turn everyone’s heads, eyes darting to the redhead walking over from a group of girls who were by the lake.

‘All right, Evans?’ said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature.

‘Leave him alone! What’s he done to you?’ She gave James a look of great dislike.

‘Well,’ said James, appearing to deliberate the point, ‘it’s more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…’ The growing crowd of students laughed, Sirius and Peter included, but Lily didn't and nor did Remus, who was still attempting to spend his remaining time at Hogwarts in relative peace, without having to watch his back for Snape.

‘You think you’re funny,’ she said coldly. ‘But you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him -’

‘He’s the one that attacked Remus on his first day.’ Sirius’ voice was icy and his low. Where James was taking pleasure in tormenting Severus for the sake of it, Sirius was here for revenge.

Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Snape was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.

‘What,’ Lily faltered. ‘No, Severus wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t. It wasn’t you, was it, Severus?’

‘OI!’

But it was too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the left side of James’ face, spattering his robes with blood.

Remus couldn’t stand for this. He had let Sirius and James fight his battles for him and now James was on the receiving end of whatever dark curse Snape had created. Throwing the heavy leather book into his bag and withdrawing his wand from his robes, he pointed it at Snape.

 _‘Levicorpus!’_ A second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd cheered; Sirius, James and Peter roared with laughter but Lily remained silent, torn between her feelings. Feeling an odd sense that he was doing something wrong, Remus dropped Snape back to the ground.

Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said _‘Petrificus Totalus!’_ and Snape keeled over, rigid as a board. Sirius’ eyes were unblinking and fixed upon Snape, full of pure rage.

‘Sirius,’ Lily said, placing a hand on his arm. Sirius hadn’t noticed but he was so angry that he had been shaking. ‘Take the curse off him.’ Although she didn’t seem angry with Sirius for cursing Snape now, there was a sadness in her eyes which resonated with Sirius. Sirius recognised this to be the same emotion he had felt after Regulus had told him to jump off the bridge, the feeling of losing someone you had hope for.

‘You’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus -’ James still had his wand pointed at Snape distrustingly.

‘I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!’

Lily blinked.

‘Fine,’ she said cooly. ‘I won't bother in future. And I’d wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus._ ’

‘Apologise to Evans!’ James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him. Now everyone there hated Snape.

‘I don't want you to make him,’ Lily said, her voice weaker, as though on the verge of breaking. James turned to Lily, put an arm around her shoulder and walked back up towards the castle. Remus and Peter followed the two closely and the crowd departed, leaving only Sirius and Snape.

‘Leave my friends alone.’ Sirius spoke as coldly and dryly as before. His usual light-hearted mannerisms faded, leaving behind a hardened exterior. He was just turning to walk back up to the castle when he heard Snape speak.

‘I should have known that you and scar boy would become faggots together.’

 _‘Sectumsempra!’_ Sirius turned back with such rage that he did not acknowledge the deep wound he had just inflicted to Snape’s shoulder. He pointed his wand sharply into the Slytherin’s throat and spat, ‘If you _hurt_ Remus again, if you _touch_ him, if you even _say his name_ … I’ll kill you.’

 

*

 

The walk back to the Gryffindor common rooms was distressing, to say the least. Lily could be heard in front of Remus, gently crying into James’ arm, James saying nothing. Peter made the journey no better by complaining that his legs hurt and then abandoning the others to eat lunch earlier.

Sirius hadn’t come up the tower with them either and Remus began to worry that he might have done something he’d regret in such an angry state. When Sirius finally did return he was cold, quiet and brooding.

Lily was sat on the end of James’ bed, sobbing into his robes. It was clear that she had tried to gather herself and stop her crying multiple times but each time she’d break and return to James’ arm.

‘It’s alright, Lily,’ James hushed her. ‘I know he was your friend but you know that he isn’t a good person, it just took you a while to figure it out.’ This didn’t help matters and the girl sobbed harder.

‘What kept you up?’ Remus asked Sirius, who avoided eye contact. ‘You didn’t threaten him, did you? Please tell me you didn’t threaten him.’

Sirius took a deep breath, looked deep into Remus’ beautiful eyes and said, ‘I told him that if he hurts you again then I’ll kill him.’ His voice was dry and there was no hint that this was a joke. Lily let out an even louder sob, muffled by James’ robes.

‘Sirius…’ Remus moved over to put an arm around Sirius but the boy’s body was cold and rigid.

‘Fuck Snape,’ Sirius said lowly, through gritted teeth. ‘I need a cigarette.’

Twenty minutes later, Sirius and Remus were sat atop the Astronomy Tower, sharing one of Sirius’ cigarettes. Neither boy had said a word the entire walk and there was no hint that Sirius was about to start now. All he did was take drags, pass the cigarette over to Remus and stare over the horizon, across the Black Lake and Dark Forest.

‘Sirius,’ Remus said in an almost pleading tone. ‘Please don’t make me worry about you.’

Sirius stubbed out the cigarette against the stonework on the edge of the tower and said, ‘Sorry.’

‘Sirius…’

‘Alright,’ he groaned. ‘I’m sorry, I just - When I saw Snape today, outside a lesson… all I could think of was what he did to you on your first day here… and I’m sorry for telling everyone who did it to you but that fucker deserved what he got.’

‘It’s alright, Sirius,’ Remus said, watching the sunset in the distance. ‘I just don’t want to worry about you tomorrow night.’

‘Tomorrow night?’ Sirius asked. Remus felt his stomach wrench at his slip-up. ‘I was going to ask you if you wanted to do something special tomorrow night?’ In fact, Sirius had spent all morning organising the whole thing with Lily. He had planned to ask the house elves in the kitchen to prepare him a buffet so that he and Remus could have dinner in the Room of Requirement and spend the night in bed together.

‘Oh -’ Remus thought on his feet. ‘It’s just… I’m heading home for the night to see my mother, she’s very ill. I’m sorry.’

‘Oh, Remus…’ Sirius turned and placed a hand on his friend’s arm. ‘You should have told me she was ill. You shouldn’t have had to worry about that by yourself, suffering alone.’ This was the most genuine, emotional response Sirius had given all day. Remus felt his stomach wrench again as if someone had twisted his insides. He hated this feeling of lying to Sirius, especially when Sirius cared so much for him, and was now invested in this fake tale of his sickly mother.

‘It’s fine - She’s fine, really…’ Remus stuttered. ‘I mean, she just want’s to see me again, to make her feel better. She’s not used to me being away from home for long periods of time.’

‘When will you be back?’ Sirius’ face looked like that of a puppy, his magnificent eyes big and sad.

‘As soon as I can,’ Remus promised, then tried to figure out how long he’d need to spend in the hospital wing. ‘Hopefully Sunday afternoon.’ Sirius gave a weak smile although he was devastated.

 

*

 

That night and the following day passed quickly but uncomfortably. Sirius spent his entire Ancient Runes exam thinking about how he’d be spending the next two days without Remus and Remus spent the entire exam feeling sickening amounts of stress over the full moon that very night.

After the exam, Sirius waited for Remus by the door as he had done after each of the previous exams, although this time, Remus walked straight past him, not even acknowledging his existence.

‘Hey, Remus!’ Sirius shouted above the busy chatter of the fifth year students but Remus did not turn around. Remus didn’t turn around until Sirius forced his way through a large group of girls and shook the boy by the shoulder.

‘Oh,’ he grunted. ‘Hello, Sirius.’ Remus forced a smile. His face was ghostly pale and he was sickly looking.

‘You just walked past me then; I was stood by the doors, as always,’ Sirius stuttered.

‘I’m sorry.’ Although it caused him great pain to move more than he needed to, Remus rubbed Sirius’ arm. ‘I mustn’t have seen you there.’

It took the pair a long time to reach Gryffindor Tower, Remus was taking a long time to climb the stairs and Sirius had a sinking feeling that the boy just wanted to avoid him.

‘Do you want any help packing a night bag?’ Sirius said, trying desperately to be helpful.

‘No thank you.’ Remus didn’t want Sirius seeing what exactly he was taking with him to the willow, in case some items of clothes were ripped and he had to replace them with something different.

‘You don’t look well. Could I at least walk you out of the castle? Only up to the gates? You can wait for the Knight Bus there or walk down to Hogsmeade and get the train.’ Sirius had been pleading to help Remus for the past half hour but Remus had ignored every request.

‘No, sorry,’ he said, carefully sliding healing potions between his change of clothes. ‘I have to go alone.’

By the time it came for Remus to say “goodbye”, Sirius felt it was too early. He wanted to beg Remus to stay for just a half-hour longer but he couldn’t face being told no again.

Remus felt fear as soon as he dragged himself through the portrait hole, even the Fat Lady commented on how sickly he appeared. The walk down to the Whomping Willow was agony, he could feel every joint and muscle in his body searing as if they were on fire.

Touch the knot, follow the passage, enter the shack, wait until morning; this was all he had to do.

Once the tree had been immobilised, he was able to drag himself along the underground passageway in pitch blackness. He could have cast a _Lumos_ spell but, in his current condition, lifting his arms was not an option.

The shack itself was an ugly little place, dirty carpets, moulding wallpaper and a sad display of furniture. He stowed his night bag and his clothes just outside the entrance to the shack, inside the passageway, and wrapped himself in one of the spare blankets he had smuggled from the Gryffindor dorms.

As the minutes passed and the moon rose higher, Remus could feel pain drive through his very bone as he felt then shrinking, stretching, bending and breaking, and the transformation began.

Meanwhile, Sirius Black sat awake and alone in the dormitory; James had invited him to come to a party in the Hufflepuff common room but he didn’t feel like partying. The silvery moonlight lit his face as he brooded over his situation with Remus.

It had been utterly soul-destroying for Remus to tell him that he was going away tonight and he knew he was wrong to feel this way when Remus was crossing the country just to visit his sickly mother but he just couldn’t help it. And on top of that, Remus had acted to oddly today, ignoring Sirius and then even refusing his very kind request to walk him to Hogsmeade.

‘Sirius Black. Get a hold of yourself,’ he repeated, out loud to himself, but no matter how many times he told himself this, it didn’t prevent the perpetual sinking feeling he felt inside, nor did it stop his eyes from welling up as he curled up in bed that night, alone, with only the silvery moon and the gentle howling of the wind to keep him company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all had a very eventful Halloween and hope you enjoy this new chapter!
> 
> Writing this was so different from my usual writing since it heavily features Snape's memory from the Order of the Phoenix with some of my own elements added and a slightly different ending to the scene ;) If you happen to be interested in the similarities, I've named this chapter after the original. 
> 
> Leave me a comment to let me know if you're enjoying yourself so far!


	16. Fatherly Wisdom

Remus awoke the next morning naked and bloodied on the floor of the shack feeling only pain. Daring to open his eyes, he saw that the room around him was in utter disarray: the carpets torn, furniture destroyed and ugly wallpaper carved into by large claw marks. 

The wolf had been angry with him, Remus could tell. His right arm was broken and the bone left at an unnatural angle, punishment. It was clear that the wolf had been angered by his unfamiliar surroundings, equally as cramped as the cellar back home. 

‘Tut, tut, tut…’ came a distant noise; Remus prayed it wasn’t a student. The tutting continued as at approached Remus’ battered body from behind where he was lay. 

‘He-llo?’ Remus attempted to speak but his throat was sore and his lungs too weak to produce sound. 

_ ‘Vulnera Sanentur. Brackium Emendo,’  _ The voice belonged to that of a witch, soft, quiet, soothing.  _ ‘Ossio Dispersimus. Tergeo. Episkey. Ferula.’  _

Immediately Remus felt better, although still in great pain, better. He was now able to turn his face to the woman who had healed him, a short, motherly looking woman with brown hair, tied up under a white matron’s cap. 

‘Thank you -’ He wanted to thank her more but a pain in his ribcage silenced him. 

‘Hush now, dear,’ the witch said, gentle fingers brushing the hair from out of his eyes. ‘We’ll have you up to the castle and in a bed in no time.  _ Locomotor!’ _

Remus felt his body lift a few inches from the floor and he faded in and out of consciousness on his journey back, opening his eyes to see: the passage, the willow, a hidden entrance to the hospital tower and finally the ceiling of the Hospital Wing. He lost consciousness again and awoke to familiar voices.

‘Are you sure he’s supposed to be like this, Lyall?’ 

‘Oh yes, Professor. He seems to be doing rather well. A slightly nastier transformation than we’re used to but what could you expect.’ 

‘I told you, Minerva. When I went to find him this morning he even thanked me for my help; he’s a very polite boy, you’ve done very well, Mr Lupin.’ 

‘Thank you, Madam.’ 

‘I know, Poppy, and I trust your abilities more than anyone, it’s just… such a young man, such a talented young man… in a state like this -’ 

‘Now, now, Minerva. It’s not like you to work yourself up like this; you’ve only known taught the boy for a week.’ 

‘It’s alright, Professor. Remus is a strong lad, he always pulls through with never a word of complaint.’ 

‘Yes, Lyall, yes. Thank you for making your way here, I just wanted… I just wanted him to be alright.’ 

‘He’s my son, I could never just leave him if you thought there might be something -’ 

‘Dad?’ Remus had only just managed to find the strength to speak. 

Opening his eyes he could see his father wearing his usual old travelling cloak, stood between two women. The first woman, he recognised as the same woman who had collected him from the shack that morning, her matron’s cap a dazzling white. The second woman took slightly longer to figure out, but after some time, he realised that it was Professor McGonagall. The witch looked far different than she had done when he had first met her in Hogsmeade or in any of the Transfiguration revision classes he had attended. This McGonagall was red-faced and teary-eyed, she lacked the stony coldness of her strict, sarcastic, authoritative counterpart, with a damp handkerchief in her hand and her strong Scottish voice faltering. 

‘Alright, Moony?’ 

Even in his semi-conscious and pain-ridden state, Remus was able to produce a scowl. He hated his father’s “light-hearted” nickname for him. The nickname had started when he was younger and lived every month in fear of the full moon, and in perfect honesty, he still did to an extent. His father had come up with the clever idea to make light of his condition, to take away the power and fear it had over his young son. 

‘I don’t know who you’re talking to,’ Remus managed, causing his dad to laugh. 

‘I’m sure I’m no longer needed here,’ said Professor McGonagall, clearing her throat and regaining composure. ‘Thank you, Mr Lupin, Poppy.’ 

‘Rough night?’ his dad asked, taking a seat next to his bed. 

‘Not the best,’ Remus spluttered, ‘by far.’ 

The next thing he knew the matron had walked beside the bed and placed a spoon of some vile smelling liquid beneath under his nose, saying, ‘Bottoms up Mr Lupin.’ He coughed on the medicine and his dad gave a bellowing laugh. 

‘Could I have a moment with my son, if you wouldn’t mind,’ Lyall said, smiling politely at Madam Pomfrey after calming himself. The matron nodded and left the father and son to talk. 

‘So, how are you finding Hogwarts?’ His eyes sparkled as he spoke. 

‘I love it,’ Remus confessed, unable to lie to his father. ‘I’ve made loads of friends, I’ve explored the castle, I’ve been all over Gryffindor Tower, I spent a full in the library, I learnt how to duel, I’ve tried all the food…’ Remus continued listing his experiences and his father grinned more and more. ‘... and I’m friends with this one boy, Sirius Black, and he’s…’ 

‘Black?’ Lyall said, taken aback. ‘I didn’t expect you’d be making friends with may Slytherins. Those Blacks are a nasty old family, Remus, I’d be careful around -’ 

‘No, dad!’ Remus protested, feeling offended on behalf of his closest friend. ‘He’s a Gryffindor. He’s the funny and handsome sort but he’s really clever too, he even managed to heal the scars on my face!’ 

‘My -’ Lyall looked at Remus’ face for a closer inspection. ‘So he has!’ His dad was shocked and smiled wide. ‘And any… lady friends yet?’ 

‘Well...’ Remus laughed, then felt a pain in his ribs. ‘I met a really nice girl, Lily Evans, one of the smartest girls in the year, but I think she has a thing for James Potter, it’s a bit complicated.’ 

‘So you’ve not made a move on any girls yet? Handsome new boy and all that,’ Lyall laughed again. 

‘Dad!’ Remus groaned, blushing strongly. Then his mind when to Sirius: beautiful, smart, friendly Sirius. No, he thought to himself, he couldn’t mention that to his dad; having a werewolf as a son was difficult enough, let alone a gay werewolf. 

‘Anyway, son,’ his dad said after listening to Remus for a while longer. ‘I’ll have to get off back to your mother, she’s worried sick… and McGonagall’s worried letter didn’t help matters. I’ve left you something… interesting, for when you’re better.’ 

‘Thanks,’ Remus said after a suspicious hum. 

Judging from the colour of the sky and the direction of the sun coming through the Hospital Wing windows, Remus presumed that it was late Saturday night. He wondered how Sirius was spending his weekend, perhaps causing mayhem and mischief with James or having long and funny conversations with Lily, where the layers of irony and sarcasm were so dense that Remus couldn’t tell what the joke was half the time. 

 

*

 

Sirius felt sick for the whole of Saturday, not knowing whether Remus still liked him anymore. What could he have done to upset Remus? One day he was kissing Sirius and thanking him for healing his scars, and the next day Remus had totally ignored him, refusing his help and ending any conversation as quickly as they had started. 

In a fit of confusion and hurt, he left the common room late that night and took to wandering the castle to calm his emotions. Unable to retreat to the Astronomy Tower due to a revision session, which he had refrained from attending, he wandered up towards the seventh floor. Perhaps the Room of Requirement would grant him something to take his mind off Remus. 

Just as he was about to reach the room, he was stopped in his tracks by sounds of footsteps and someone whistling the full arrangement for Chopin’s Etude, opus twenty-five, number eleven. Unable to hide in time, Sirius simply stood his ground and waited expectantly for the wrath of whichever professor or prefect was around the corner. 

‘Ah, Sirius, just the man I was looking for.’ Sirius took a deep breath and looked up in confusion. Professor Dumbledore stood before him in magnificent purple robes. 

‘You were looking for me, Professor?’ Sirius was dumbfounded. 

‘Yes, Mr Black,’ the old man said, smiling. ‘A number of years ago I found a room filled with a collection of the most stunning and comfortable chaise lounges I have ever had the pleasure of sitting on and I would like to ask you whether you had found such a room.’ 

‘Erm,’ Sirius thought quickly. ‘Did you need to sit down when you were looking for the room?’ 

‘A very interesting question, Mr Black,’ said the professor with a hint of peculiar interest. ‘I had just returned from a quick expedition on Everest with my old friend, Nicolas when I returned and spent what felt to be an even longer period of time searching for a comfortable seat.’ 

‘I think you found the Room of Requirement too,’ Sirius said, attempting not to ponder too long on Dumbledore’s unusual story. ‘Follow me.’ 

It was an odd feeling, to be guiding the school’s headmaster to a room Sirius apparently knew more about than the man himself. Dumbledore said nothing as he followed Sirius down the corridors, the only sound coming from his heeled shoes and his sweeping cloak. 

‘You just need to think about what you want really hard and -’ Before him, Sirius saw a familiar great oak door and walked through it. The inside was different again, a vast room filled with numerous French style armchairs, which reminded Sirius of chairs a client might sit in while talking to a therapist. 

Dumbledore sat with a groan and then a long and happy sigh, saying, ‘ahh, just as I remembered. Would you care to sit and accompany me for a short while?’ Not wanting to be rude in refusing his headmaster’s request, Sirius took a seat on the sofa across from the old man. 

‘So, were you actually looking for me, professor?’ Sirius stuttered. He had only seen the headmaster when he was sat in the Great Hall and had never actually spoken to the man in person, although he had, of course, heard the great stories of him defeating Gellert Grindelwald. 

‘Of course, Mr Black; I am nothing if not a man of my word.’ Dumbledore spoke in a way in which it was almost impossible to decipher whether the man was a genius or clinically insane. ‘I wanted to ask you about your new friend, a certain Mr Lupin.’ 

‘Oh, Remus?’ Sirius was taken aback, remembering his reason for leaving the common room for a walk that night, his confusion over how Remus felt towards him. ‘He’s one of the best people I’ve ever met.’ Sirius confessed. Even in his confused state, there was no way he could deny that Remus wasn’t amazing. 

‘So you’ve grown a strong love for this boy?’ Dumbledore asked. Sirius almost choked. Could Dumbledore read minds? If so, could he tell that he and Remus had spent a night in bed together in this very room, though the room was very different, and did he know that he had threatened Snape’s life? Sensing Sirius’ discomfort towards the question, the professor added, ‘You love him as a friend?’ 

‘Oh, yes, definitely,’ Sirius stuttered. ‘I don’t know what I’ll do when he leaves next week.’ 

Dumbledore frowned and, believing he understood the situation said, ‘I myself once loved a man. Loved him so dearly that I changed so that I could become closer to him, alas, not all change is for the best and not all love is meant to be. I may be an old man now, Sirius, but I was young once and very much like yourself. Love, Sirius. If I could give you one piece of advice, from a man who loved a man to a man who loves a man, I would tell you to fight for a happier future, a future you believe in, and if that involves you finding love, then don't waste your chances.’ 

Sirius was utterly speechless. Had Dumbledore, arguably one of the most powerful and accomplished wizards of modern time, just given him dating advice? And more so, had Albus Dumbledore just disclosed to him, a seemingly random student from a dark and infamously prejudice family, that he once loved a man? 

‘I do believe that I’ve become well rested enough,’ said Dumbledore getting to his feet. ‘It’s late, Mr Black, and I think it best you make your way back to your common room.’ He gave another twinkling-eyed smile before he left the room, leaving Sirius to process what had just happened. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but sweet this time! Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> If you liked it then be sure to leave a comment telling me what you think, I reply to everyone that I can :D


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